Monday, January 2, 2012

Writing in Pencil

I hate New Years' Resolutions.

It's not that I don't like fact, I'm quite goal-oriented by nature.  There's just something about New Years' resolutions that irk me.  They stress me out.  We joke about how predictably easy they are to break.  I get this feeling when I make them that somehow achieving them is a key to happiness. 

I was really, really good at setting goals and achieving them precisely on time and in the way I had planned...before I had children. 

Then I had kids.

They had absolutely no regard for the fact that I had a goal of exercising every day so I could lose ten pounds by the end of February.  Just when I was finally exercising they would need me.  It was so inconvenient.  I would grow resentful.

I would resolve to read a certain amount of scripture every day and then find myself shrieking at them for interrupting me.  Don't worry--the irony of that was not lost on me.

The problem wasn't and isn't in setting the goals...we must aim in a certain direction to get there!  The problem is when those goals are elevated above love.

"Most of all, 
love each other as if your life depended on it.
Love makes up for practically anything."

My kids are older now and don't have "potty accidents" anymore, but they still need meMy days inevitably contain things unscheduled and beyond my control--such as the lesson given while I was in the middle of writing this on How to Remove Ketchup from the Carpet.  I often struggle with frustration at these moments.

So I'm only making one resolution:  I resolve to love as if my life depends on it.  A resolution I can't possibly keep on my own, but I have a Backer.

I'm counting on love making up for "practically anything."  That love will matter more and make all the difference in those places where my life doesn't look as neat and tidy as it would in my imaginary world where I control everything.

I'm still planning on exercising regularly and cutting out those late afternoon potato chips.  I want to work on a writing project and finally make curtains for the guest room.

I'm still making plans--I'm just writing them in pencil.

1 Peter 4:8 MSG

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