Monday, January 23, 2012

Huge Love

My prayer hasn't been answered.  A big one.  One that mattered so much to me, that I've invested my heart in for two years.  It's not a disaster--there's another answer--it just isn't the one I wanted, the one I asked for, the one I thought would be best.  I'm grieving a little...while giving thanks that there's another answer, a good one.

I've sort of wrestled all afternoon with the fact that I'm disappointed...feeling like I shouldn't be.  Silly woman.  Has God ever said anything other than, "Come unto me..."?  No disclaimer.  No, "get your act together" and then come.  No shame.  NO SHAME.  Ever.  Just come.

So I come.  And find rest.  I come and discover that He's not disappointed in me for feeling sad.  He's just full of love.  Love that's bigger than our prairie skies.  Deeper than the ocean.  It's a Love so huge that it invites trust.

Your unfailing love, O Lord, is as vast as the heavens;
Your faithfulness reaches beyond the clouds.
Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains,
your justice like the ocean depths...

How precious is your unfailing love, O God!
All humanity finds shelter in the shadow of your wings.

Psalm 36:5-7