Mother's Day Hike

All I wanted to do on Mother's Day was go for a hike.  I have no idea why I put myself through this as the kids tend to be really grumpy or whiny when we subject them to such tortures...  But my husband is never happier than when rambling in the woods.  The winter has been long and I ache for fresh air and outdoor freedom.  We've gotten pretty good at tuning out all the bellyaching--they've been known to forget how horrible it is and actually enjoy themselves.


We set off up the "mountain," as the locals call the highest hill in the County.  The sun was shining--almost hot--and baby leaves were bursting out much like the joy in my heart.  My honey has a permanent upward turn to his mouth when we're all together outdoors.  The dog was cavorting wildly through mud bogs and underbrush.


One child tromped ahead with a scowl, seriously hoping we wouldn't meet any of her friends on quads while she hiked along like a plebeian.  One lagged behind moaning about the weight of the backpack (which he insisted on bringing).


My contentment was undisturbed.  My joy multiplied when Brian told me with an even bigger smile that he was going to show me a trail he'd discovered.  That's the kind of gift he really loves to give.


We called ahead to the tromping one that we were turning off here and she needed to come.  She argued, he insisted, and off we went.  It wasn't long until we realized that she hadn't joined us.  Seems she was sure we were all going to end up in the same place.  She thought wrong.


I was once that tromping one, veering off in the wrong direction so sure I was right.  So annoyed that everyone was freaking out.  So confident we would all end up in the same place.  What's the big deal?  Jeepers.  I know what I'm doing!


Daddy went back for his little girl.  He loves that stubborn little one and knew she'd become hopelessly lost without him.  He pointed out the path for us and reassured us that we would meet up ahead. I hated to see him go!  Actually, I resented the fact he needed to go, but I recognized the love.  I was torn between mercy and a desire to see her suffer the consequences of her actions.


My Father pursued me when I was on the wrong path too--He knew I would become hopelessly lost without Him.  My poor choices also caused pain for those who loved me.  I deserved all kinds of things, but not His mercy.  Yet He pursued me with love, never giving up until I followed Him back to the right path.  A crazy love lavished on the one who had rejected Him!


Meanwhile, we continued down the path Daddy had chosen.  One grumping and bewailing the fact that it was too hard, too long, and probably wouldn't get us where we wanted to go. The other little one trucked along enjoying the beauty of the path.  Once in a while she would pause and search my eyes--was I sure this was the right way?  I'd reassure her that Daddy knew what he was talking about and we could trust him.


I've also been like the grumping one--on the right path but complaining and unthankful, missing all the beauty and subjecting others to my misery.  No doubt others around me on the journey wished I'd just shut up and enjoy it already.  And I have been like the little one joyfully ascending the mountain stopping for reassurance from time to time.  I'm so thankful for all the ones who have encouraged me in those wondering moments that I can, indeed, trust the Father.  Follow the path He's directed and all will be well.


True to his word, we were reunited with Daddy and the (somewhat subdued) lost-and-found one.  Together we scaled the last very steep bit.  The wind whipped around us as we stood at the summit laughing.


The vista was breathtaking.


Absolutely worth the journey. 

If when we were at our worst,

we were put on friendly terms with God by the sacrificial death of his Son,

now that we're at our best,

just think of how our lives will expand and deepen

 by means of his resurrection life!

Now that we have actually received this amazing friendship with God,

we are no longer content to simply say it in plodding prose.

We sing and shout our praises to God through Jesus, the Messiah!

Romans 5:10-11 MSG

Getting Your Face Washed

Today is Ash Wednesday.  When my kids attended the Catholic school they were required to attend mass on this day.  The priest would mark the sign of the cross on their foreheads with a mixture of ashes and holy water to remind them of repentance.  They were to leave this black smudge for the rest of the day as a sign of humility.

They hated it.  It was itchy.  It felt shameful to them.  They couldn't wait to wash it off as soon as they came home.  I have to say that I was happy to remove that stain from the faces of the little ones I love.  Turns out it's a pretty effective object lesson in so many ways...

Sin can be so much fun at the time--afterward it's so uncomfortable.  It itches and rankles and tears at our spirits.  Regret blocks out the sunlight.  Shame saps energy.  We just wish it could be wiped away...and it can!  What joy it is to be cleansed!  How much joy it must give our Father when we let Him remove the stain!  How awful would it be to keep that stain when He's longing to remove it?

I remember a day when the kids were all preschoolers and I was trying to get everyone out the door, but no one else felt any sense of urgency.  In fact, they were squabbling in the doorway.  I totally lost my temper and I YELLED at them.  It worked.  They paid attention and in that moment it was such a relief to let loose with my emotions.  But it wasn't long until I began to feel ashamed.  They were being kids, very little kids, kids in training.  Yes, there were plenty of reasons why I felt pushed right over the edge.  I'm human and I'd reached my limit.  I felt awful.  I'd dishonoured little people that I loved very much.  I told them I was sorry, but I still felt gross.

When I arrived at my destination I burst into tears, telling my friend all about what a horrible mother I was.  My little one came up to me and--with very big, earnest, blue eyes--asked why I was crying.  I told her I felt so awful for losing my temper.  She reminded me that I'd said sorry to them and then asked, "Did you tell Jesus you're sorry?"  I responded that, yes, I had.

"Well, then you're just being silly!"  And she ran off to play.

I laughed.  A wobbly, watery, semi-hysterical laugh.  She'd nailed it.  Taken away all my right to wallow in shame.  Gone.  Washed.  Free.

We have no business punishing ourselves.  Whether we've lost our tempers or committed a "biggie," the price for our freedom has been paid.  To say we cannot forgive ourselves is the worst kind of pride, it is to say that His gift is not enough.

If we've harmed others through our sin, we need to make it right with them and then go get our face washed.

Today is a good day to have the stain washed away.  Smudges of dirt and shame don't belong on the faces of the King's children.  You were created to shine with His glory...it's not a glory earned, but bestowed.  Let Him wash you.  He's longing to.

I've tried everything and nothing helps.  

I'm at the end of my rope.

Is there no one who can do anything for me?

Isn't that the real question?

The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does.

He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions 

where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind,

but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.

With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved.

Those who enter in Christ's being-here-for-us 

no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud.

A new power is in operation.

The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind,

has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you

from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death.

Romans 7:24-25;8:1-2 MSG

Awesome Kids

Sometimes I rhetorically say, "I wonder what should I blog about today?"   Inevitably two of my kids say, "Blog about how awesome I am!"  I smile and think that I could definitely do that!  If you're a reader lucky enough to know and love my kids you might read and smile indulgently...  If you know my kids, but don't feel the love, you  may just find it downright annoying..  The rest might think I'm just bragging...

Instead, I'll tell you a couple of ways that parenting awesome kids has given me a glimpse into the Father's heart.

First, I absolutely and unabashedly do think my kids are awesome!  No one is more aware of their flaws than their dad and I and no one loves them more than we do.  That's how your Heavenly Papa feels about you!  There's a sneaky little lie that tells us that His love is lessened by awareness of our shortcomings or that He somehow love us less on our bad days.  Not true!  When you love someone enough to give your life for them...that's exactly what you do.  You give your life for them, committing all of your self and your resources to help them be the best they can be.

Having said I think my kids are awesome, I have to tell you that they definitely don't always act that way.  I hate it when they make bad choices... 

...I'm human so sometimes my reaction is impatience or anger--this is when God reminds me that He's never reacted to me that way.  His love brings conviction and He always gives grace to help with the mess I've made.  I need to do that with my kids. 

...Their poor choices also break my heart because they bring painful consequences.  This pain in my heart gave me a whole new perspective on the heart of the Father.  How many of us grew up with the notion that God had an awful lot of rules and most of them were to keep us from having fun?  It's distressing to me when my kids don't trust that my rules are to protect them!  How much more, the guidelines from a perfect Father?  All He has in mind for us is for our good.  Oh, how He loves us!  The more we grow in His love, the more we understand that He is worthy of our trusting obedience.

I'll wrap up this thankful week by expressing gratitude my for the amazing kids I've been given.  They may have taught me more than I'll ever teach them!  Also, I'm more thankful than I can say for the grace that has been given to make up for my learning curve in the whole parenting process.  Love and grace.  That's what He's given.  Thankful, so thankful

And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love,

you'll be able to take in with all Christians the extravagant dimensions of Christ's love. 

Reach out and experience the breadth!

Test it's length!

Plumb the depths!

Rise to the heights!

Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.

God can do anything, you know--

far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams!

He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us,

his Spirit deeply and gently within us.

Ephesians 3:17b-20 MSG