Joy made Full

Today's little scrap of paper was smaller than the others, tightly folded...

I ask and receive and my joy is made full.

I ask. A lot. I receive...sometimes.  My joy...is it full?  I have lots, but I think there's still room for more.

I've been pondering the big questions of unanswered prayer a lot lately.  Seeking words adequate to describe trust when the answers aren't neatly packaged in a little box and adorned with a perfect bow.

In my own life I've gone through times of such profound pain and disappointment that I shut out, blamed, even accused the One who was my only source of hope.  

We can get sad, mad, hurt, frustrated, angry, disappointed, distressed, depressed when He doesn't enter our circumstances in the way we want Him to, when it looks like He hasn't done what He promised.  He promised a way to escape temptation, but I just want to escape reality.

We block Him out or say He isn't real because He doesn't dance to our tune or rescue us according to our plan.

Yet all the walls built to block out the pain of disappointment also block out the light.  The hope.  Even those disappointed places, especially those disappointed places, must be surrenderd to Him if I want to be filled full with joy...

So many mysteries, so many complexities, that don't fit into the neat little columns and boxes I adore.  Yet I always come back to the fact that He is huge and full of love.  Trustworthy.  He hung the stars and keeps the planets in their orbit.  He can handle the details of my life.  I can trust even when things don't make sense.

He says to ask...He invites us to ask.  He promises we will receive all that we need...and then some.  My joy is full and when I trust that He is answering and providing all that I need.  Even when it doesn't come in the package I was looking for.

And this same God who takes care of me

will supply all your needs from his glorious riches

which have been given to us in Christ Jesus

Now all glory to God our Father forever and ever!

Amen.

John 16:24

Philippians 4:19-20

This post is part of a series Love in a Box

Small Beginnings

It's so easy for us to see where we have room to grow...more love, more patience, more self-control, better parent/spouse/friend...  To desire growth is a good thing, however in my longing for more I easily overlook what He has already done--in myself and others.

We must not disregard the small beginnings.  God doesn't.

Do not despise these small beginnings,

for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin...

This verse was referring to the rebuilding of the Temple.  What is our desire but to see His Temple rebuilt in our lives through demonstrations of love, joy, peace--the fruit of His Spirit?   

And He has begun a good work.  These "small beginnings" are but the first fruits, the promise of what is yet to come.  God rejoices in these small beginnings!  He who started the good work in you will complete it.  

Giving thanks for the small beginnings I've recognized in this day.  Praying for eyes to see and a heart that more readily recognizes and celebrates the small beginnings...which hold great potential.

All this may seem impossible to you now...

But is it impossible for me?

says the Lord of Heaven's Armies...

For I am planting seeds of peace and prosperity among you.

 Zechariah 4:10; 5:7&12

January Song

"Is any one of you in trouble?  He should pray.  Is anyone happy?  He should sing songs of praise."*

In this week of turbulence I have prayed.  Oh, how I have prayed!  And He has heard my voice!  All I can do is sing songs of praise!

Giving thanks for:

A glimmer of hope that the kids are settling into routine...

A couple of kid-free hours thanks to my husband...

The genuine kindness of my co-workers...

A little chat with a good friend...

A daughter singing her own songs of praise as she loads the dishwasher...

He is real.  He lifts us up.  He steadies us.  He gives us a song to sing.  Even on bleak and turbulent January days.

I waited patiently for the Lord to help me,

and he turned to me and heard my cry.

He lifted me out of the pit of despair...

He set my feet on solid ground

and steadied me as I walked along.

He has given me a new song to sing,

a hymn of praise to our God.

Many will see what he has done and be amazed.

They will put their trust in the Lord.*

If you are feeling your own January troubles, pray.  He hears.  Wait patiently with your trust in Him.  He will fill you with a song!

James 5:13 NIV; Psalm 40:1-3 NLT

Refreshing Kindness

My back is aching, my eyes are crossing in exhaustion, and I'm pretty sure there are a few crumpled napkins still lurking in corners, but my heart is overflowing with gratitude...

Fourteen and a half years ago my husband and I moved to northern Alberta where jobs were more plentiful and land was cheaper than in the place from whence we came.  Newlyweds, we were, venturing out on our own, away from family, to a place where there were only a few people that we kind of vaguely sort of knew...  I was unprepared for how lonely I would be and how very bleak and cold the winter would seem.  We tried going to a few different churches and liked them all, but none of them truly "fit" until one day we walked into the church that is now "home."

The people were so friendly and kind!  Even though the style of worship and the way they did things was different from places that had felt like home before, these people loved.  From the first Sunday we felt connected and so we went back again. And again.  Weekly, we were invited into homes.  Gradually, we began to make friends with neighbors and coworkers.  There is a unique sense of community in rural areas and as much as I don't like the cold temperatures here, I love the warm hearts!

Eventually I wanted to reciprocate all the kindness we'd received, but felt completely inadequate for the job...  Not only because of the number or people who'd been so kind, but they all seem to be such extraordinarily accomplished hosts/hostesses!

I got a bright idea.  We would host a Christmas open house and invite all the people who'd been so gracious to us.  I could handle the idea of preparing a variety of finger foods and desserts.  My husband agreed, so we invited all our new-found friends and neighbors and I spent two weeks cooking and baking.  The day and time came and we sat and waited.  We looked at each other and wondered if we were crazy.  Would anyone come?

By the end of that day more than forty people had filled our little home.  We'd laughed and loved and felt loved.  It was glorious!  A new tradition was born.  The first tradition that was "our" tradition--not something either one of us had brought into our marriage, but one we had created together.

Today was our thirteenth Christmas open house.  More than sixty people filled our home with laughter and love.  I'm so thankful that "when I was a stranger you visited me."  So incredibly thankful for the many friendships that have developed over the years.  Thankful for a Love that supersedes differences, that goes beyond culture, heals wounded hearts, and makes a family of strangers.

I always thank my God when I pray for you...

Your love has given me much joy and comfort, my brother,

for your kindness has often refreshed the hearts of God's people.

Philemon 1:4, 7

The Light

The countdown to Christmas is on now and slowly the decorations are coming out and the baking has begun.  There is a lot of bah-humbug around Christmas and I get it that the commercialism is nauseating and the pace can get out of control, but none of that can steal the sacred joy for me.  The season is full of poignant symbolism.  Everywhere you turn there are reminders of Truth.

Today we put up a little greenery with twinkling lights.  When the sun went down and all was bleak and gloomy at 4 p.m. we turned on the lights.  Ah!  Gloom was gone.  Suddenly all was cozy and comforting and the room looked like a refuge.  Those little lights were beacons drawing everyone in close.

The people who walk in darkness will see a great light.

For those who live in a land of deep darkness

a light will shine.

The Word gave life to everything that was created,

and his life brought light to everyone.

The light shines in the darkness,

and the darkness can never extinguish it.

For God who said, "Let there be light in the darkness,"

has made this light shine in our hearts

so that we could know the glory of God

that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ.

For those who live in darkness a light will shine...the darkness can never extinguish it...this light shines in our hearts...so that we can know the glory of God.

Thankful for the Light.

Isaiah 9:2; John 1:4-5; 2 Corinthians 4:6

Awesome Kids

Sometimes I rhetorically say, "I wonder what should I blog about today?"   Inevitably two of my kids say, "Blog about how awesome I am!"  I smile and think that I could definitely do that!  If you're a reader lucky enough to know and love my kids you might read and smile indulgently...  If you know my kids, but don't feel the love, you  may just find it downright annoying..  The rest might think I'm just bragging...

Instead, I'll tell you a couple of ways that parenting awesome kids has given me a glimpse into the Father's heart.

First, I absolutely and unabashedly do think my kids are awesome!  No one is more aware of their flaws than their dad and I and no one loves them more than we do.  That's how your Heavenly Papa feels about you!  There's a sneaky little lie that tells us that His love is lessened by awareness of our shortcomings or that He somehow love us less on our bad days.  Not true!  When you love someone enough to give your life for them...that's exactly what you do.  You give your life for them, committing all of your self and your resources to help them be the best they can be.

Having said I think my kids are awesome, I have to tell you that they definitely don't always act that way.  I hate it when they make bad choices... 

...I'm human so sometimes my reaction is impatience or anger--this is when God reminds me that He's never reacted to me that way.  His love brings conviction and He always gives grace to help with the mess I've made.  I need to do that with my kids. 

...Their poor choices also break my heart because they bring painful consequences.  This pain in my heart gave me a whole new perspective on the heart of the Father.  How many of us grew up with the notion that God had an awful lot of rules and most of them were to keep us from having fun?  It's distressing to me when my kids don't trust that my rules are to protect them!  How much more, the guidelines from a perfect Father?  All He has in mind for us is for our good.  Oh, how He loves us!  The more we grow in His love, the more we understand that He is worthy of our trusting obedience.

I'll wrap up this thankful week by expressing gratitude my for the amazing kids I've been given.  They may have taught me more than I'll ever teach them!  Also, I'm more thankful than I can say for the grace that has been given to make up for my learning curve in the whole parenting process.  Love and grace.  That's what He's given.  Thankful, so thankful

And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love,

you'll be able to take in with all Christians the extravagant dimensions of Christ's love. 

Reach out and experience the breadth!

Test it's length!

Plumb the depths!

Rise to the heights!

Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.

God can do anything, you know--

far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams!

He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us,

his Spirit deeply and gently within us.

Ephesians 3:17b-20 MSG

Strengthened

King David of ancient Biblical times knew about thanksgiving as a key to survival and success.  I challenge you to come up with some sort of difficulty that he couldn't relate to.  He was the runt of the litter, mocked by his siblings, had his life threatened repeatedly by someone he'd only honored and tried to help, messed up big time in life, love and parenting, but God described him as "a man whose heart beats to my heart."*  How can this be?

David knew how to "strengthen himself in the Lord."*

This is evident throughout the Psalms.  David had no trouble being really honest about how troubled or discouraged he was.  He would pour it all out with gut-wrenching honesty.  Then he would begin to recount the ways that God had met his needs in the past, all the many blessings he had received, and he would begin to offer praise and worship.  All the remembering and recounting would increase his faith for the current challenge he was facing.  Through thanksgiving and worship his heart would be encouraged and strengthened.

I want to be strengthened and encouraged.  I want my heart to beat with His heart.

Counting and recounting...

~ Really good new winter tires.  The roads are frightful today and I find myself very grateful!

~  Thankful for the snow too...my kids are having a ball and it's putting me in the mood for Christmas planning.

~ The beauty of the snow when the sun came out...such intricate beauty, such fantastic sparkling loveliness!  No accident, but by incredible design!  I worship the Creator.

~ My son has discovered Calvin and Hobbes and won't put them down.  Love finding something he really wants to read.  Amused that I think he's a bit like Calvin and he thinks Calvin is crazy.  Amused and blessed.  That's me.

~  My new co-worker.  We've hired someone to share my (paid) job which will hopefully bring some relief to my overfull schedule.  She's got a joyful heart and I think she'll do a great job.

~  Watching Kaleigh skate...the swooping, spinning and jumping looks like worship in motion.  My heart soars in ways that my feet will never take me.

~  I survived Tuesday!  EVERYTHING happens on Tuesday, well, almost everything.  Piano, guitar, skating, etc., etc.  I planned it that way to get it over with, but I also feel quite triumphant when I've completed the marathon.  My reward is to snuggle on the couch and watch a favorite show with my honey.  That's where you'll find me tonight.

I'd love it if you'd keep counting with me...

Acts 13:22 MSG, 1 Samuel 30:6

Thankful Things

Years ago when my kids were still quite little, I started a bedtime tradition of, "Give me five!"  I'd hold up my hand with five fingers spread and they'd tell me five things about the day for which they were thankful.  I was hoping to develop an atttitude of gratitude.  Little did I know that I was just giving them more ideas about how to delay bedtime--now they often insist on up to twenty "thankful things" and I've been told you can't rush gratitude.  Sigh.

Well, it's day nineteen of the thirty day blogging challenge and way past my bedtime so I'm going to give you five:

1.  Fresh blackberries for breakfast.  How is it that I live in place where mid-November brings snow and -25 degrees and I get to eat fresh blackberries?  This is proof, I tell my son, that we are indeed rich.  Nothing to do with the bank account--wealth is a sweet black stain on my yogurt and a warm, wiggly boy at my side.

2.  Having enough "wealth" to fill some Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes with treasures to send to faraway kids.  It was fun to linger in the toy aisle with my kids, picking and choosing and imagining joy and delight on an unknown child's face.  Tomorrow is dedication Sunday for the shoeboxes.  Love doing this!

3.  My husband blessing me with the opportunity to spend a kid-free afternoon shopping with a friend.  Can't remember the last time I did that.  I may have almost forgotten what it's like to try stuff on and have someone say it like it is: "You've got to buy that!" or "Nope, that would be a big mistake and I like you too much to let you do it."  So.  Much.  Fun.

4.  A clerk giving me 20% off even though "the sale doesn't start until tomorrow."  Seriously. Gotta love that!  I hope she gets hugely blessed in some way.

5.  Finding a song that says what my heart needs to say, to soak in the music, and let it wash away all the weariness.  This was the blessing that completed the day.

Maybe I'm a little bit like my kids because I need to add more:  I'm super extra thankful for my warm house wherein beloved ones are sleeping and that I'm off to an incredibly comfortable bed!

May you be blessed with sweet dreams and your own list of Thankful Things.  I'd love it if you'd "Give me five!" in the comments.