Celebration of Waiting

Advent...it's a celebration of waiting...which makes no sense at all.

Who likes waiting?

I'm waiting for something.  Urgently.  This waiting is sort of consuming my life, blocking out the big picture.  I feel like I can't get on with things until the waiting is over.

My kids are waiting too.  They can hardly stand the wondering if they'll find what they desire most under the tree on Christmas morning.

We're all waiting for something...

So we need this season of celebrating waiting.  We're remembering that even though the waiting was long, oh, so very long, the Promise came. We're remembering all the waiting that ended with fulfilment.  Some of the waiting was hope-filled and some was anguished and despair-filled.  The fulfilment wasn't dependent upon the emotions of the those who waited but on the nature of the One who promised.  This is really good news for me.

Three hundred plus promises...endless waiting...and every promise was fulfilled.  Every single one.

The Son of God, Immanuel, became flesh and lived among us.  Light entered the darkness and nothing, absolutely nothing...no maniacal killer, no unfaithful friend, no sickness or sorrow...can EVER extinguish that light.

I don't understand the waiting.  Truly I don't.  Today seems as good a day as any for the waiting to end.  But this I know:  the waiting doesn't diminish the power of the promise.

This is the promise I'm holding on to today...

A child has been born--for us!  

The gift of a son--for us!  

...and there will be no limits to the wholeness he brings!

No limits.

Wholeness.

Come, Lord Jesus, come.

Isaiah 9:6-7 MSG

Revelation 22:20

Unusual Christmas

This Christmas hasn't been like any other Christmas I've ever experienced.  

It's not the first time we've been without extended family, but it was the first time in my entire life that we haven't had people other than our immediate family around the table.  I had sought out others who might want to join us, but it seemed everyone had somewhere to go.  When I realized this I felt undone.  The gathering together is as essential to me as the gifts and the carols.  We've always shared our table with others who were also without family or who would otherwise be alone.  

I felt bent.  Unreasonably bereft. Couldn't really look the thought in the face.  Finally had to.  Why was this so hard for me?  I'm not unaware that I have much to be thankful for...  

I have a friend who dreams of what it would be like to have a quiet Christmas.  As we talked at the Christmas Eve service about the challenges of our different situations, I found myself declaring adamantly, "Wherever we find ourselves, we need to find Him!  He will be with us--we need to be alert to His presence."

My kids were unsettled when they realized no one would be joining us at our table.   Turkey dinner was vetoed.  While they all watched a movie I sought inspiration in the kitchen...and it came.  

My Oma's biscuits, cut with the Christmas tree cookie cutter...

Locally made sausage and cheese.  Table set with a cloth gifted by a friend who is having her own unusual Christmas overseas this year.  Gingerale poured into crystal goblets and candles lit...

Everyone laughed with delight at our odd Christmas feast.  We held hands 'round the table and gave thanks.  I found Him there.  He is in us and we are in Him.

"I have told you these things

so that you will be filled with my joy.

Yes, your joy will overflow!"

~ Jesus

John 15

Earnest Expectation

My kids have a strategy so that the waiting won't seem so long.  They've made plans of things they can do so that time won't crawl.  They know it's just a matter of time, but it's still not easy.

The aching and longing of waiting.  The "earnest expectation."*

Waiting.

Our hope will be fulfilled.

Come, Lord Jesus, Come.

It will happen in a moment, 

in the blink of an eye,

when the last trumpet sounds...

I Corinthians 15:52

*Romans 8:19 KJV
Revelation 22:20

Gathering Together

One of the things we love best about Christmas is all the gathering together.  More than any other time of year we visit and celebrate together.  The laughter, the food, the community...it's so rich.

It makes sense that we celebrate His coming this way--it is because of Him that we enjoy this incredible gift.  It was prophesied that, "He will...assemble the exiles...He will gather the scattered people..." 

This community is hardly normal or status quo...  Who is more scattered or exiled than the human race?  Than those who have been wounded and dare not trust again?  And who hasn't been wounded?  What is more risky than being open and intimate with imperfect people?  Haven't we all felt the anxiety of rejection?

The Prince of Peace came to draw us together and I see His presence and His glory revealed in our gathering.   I see His love and kindness scattered in our lives like refractions of light from the facets of diamond--each friend a unique expression.   He gives us the grace to forgive offenses so that we can remain connected.  He heals our hearts so we can trust again.  Our laughter together is the music of heaven.  Our feasting just a taste of what is to come.

Perhaps you long for this community but hardly dare believe that it could be possible for you...  Believe.  Invite the Prince of Peace to lead you, heal you, and connect you.  It's part of why He came.

I pray that they all will be one, just as you and I are one--

as you are in me, Father, and I am in you...

May they experience such perfect unity 

 that the world will know that you sent me

and that you love them 
as much as you love me.

~ Jesus 

Isaiah 11:12
John 17:21-23

All I Can See is Love

I'm the master of disguise.  At least I'm attempting to be.  Some gifts will be far too easy to guess without a little disguise and that's no fun...

I can hardly wait to see the gifts opened!  Some are things they've told me at least a hundred times in the last month that they would like to have.  There are gifts that I don't think they've even dreamed of, but I know they're going to love!  There are some things on their wish list that won't be under the tree and I hope they won't be too disappointed...

There are gifts I've asked my Heavenly Papa for this Christmas.  Some I won't know about for a few days.  I already know that I won't be getting others.  My heart sighs.  If I wonder why for very long, it could drive me to distraction, but when I look into His eyes I see that He loves me and that's enough for right now.  It really is.  I don't get it, but all I can see is love so I trust.

Suddenly, the angel was joined by a vast host of others--

the armies of heaven--praising God and saying,

"Glory to God in highest heaven,

and peace on earth to all whom God favors.

Luke 2:13-14

Messy Christmas

Christmas isn't at all like a Hallmark card, but you already know that.


A few days ago I sat in a circle of women and we talked about our good Christmas memories and what's hard about Christmas for us.  Talking about the hard stuff brought out strong emotions.  Tears.  We were all blessed with some happy memories, but we all had sad spots too.  There's no candy-coating that stuff.  It's messy.


What do we do?  Recoil from the pain?  Medicate it?  Grit our teeth until it's over?


The problem isn't Christmas, it's just that somewhere along the way we got the idea that in this season we would stop being...people.  Perhaps that reality is amplified by the fact that for a few days we think we should pretend we're not?  The stress that comes with all the expectations just seems to further reveal how very human we are and it's disappointing.


My husband and I come from very different "cultural" backgrounds in the way we celebrate the season.  Honestly, it can be hard.  We've tried to make our own traditions, but before I was his wife I was a daughter.  I try to honour him and not disappoint my family.  Mostly I feel torn.  I haven't handled that very well this year.  The truth has leaked out.  Honestly, I'm more comfortable and feel safer when I can pretend everything's okay. I worry about rocking his boat, about disappointing my family, about distressing my kids with my sadness...  It's into exactly this kind of turmoil that a baby was born and placed into a manger...destined to give the ultimate sacrifice so that we could somehow forgive, be healed, and be at rest.  Even when people disagree or are disappointed.


I want to be more real this Christmas--in fact, it's not that noble at all--I seem to be unable to pretend.  I hope I'm demonstrating to my kids the reality that we're all so very human--not pretend--and that real people go kneel at the manger.  That Christ didn't come to shiny Christmas tree and a picture-perfect scene, but that He came into the mess and showed His love.  It's kind of awkward and unattractive, but I'm finding His peace here in this place of kneeling, desperate worship.  We're drawing closer together.  I think that's why He came.



Christmas isn't like a Hallmark card.  It's much more like a stinky stable...full of, well, the stuff stables are full of.  The relief comes when all the broken, weary, flea-bitten people gather 'round God-made-flesh and worship.  When, rather than running, medicating, enduring, we seek His healing and refuge.



The answer isn't to skip the season--it's to seek Him in it.

The Lord is good,

a strong refuge when trouble comes.

He is close to those who trust in him.

Nahum 1:7

Christmas Pageant

Today we went to the school Christmas program.  I laughed and loved what my daughter and her class did.  We thoroughly enjoyed each presentation.

Then the littlest ones did a rendition of the nativity story and, though none of those children were "mine," their performance is the one that stirred my heart deeply.

A little angel came out and placed chubby hands on Mary's head and proclaimed in clear tones that a miracle was on it's way...

There's a miracle on its way, under way, in our hearts.  A holy thing, born of His Spirit...

Mary plopped on her donkey who wobbled, but managed to hold up valiantly though his ears slid around until they were both on one side.  Toothless shepherds gasped at the sight of the angels shouting, "Glory".  Wisemen stumbled and all but tumbled as they brought their gifts.  Joseph stood by watching with all the gravity of one entrusted with a miraculous responsibility.  Together they lisped, "Happy birthday, dear Jesus!"  

I chuckled at the same time as I was choking on a lump in my throat.  Glory shone through it all.  This is the place where His glory shines--among the humble, toothless, stumbling, wobbly ones who unashamedly proclaim that, "Love has come!" 

How is it that He sees fit to place the miracle of His Spirit in our lives, we who are so un-glorious?   What an incredible grace that He bestows His glory on us!

...God in his wisdom saw to it that the world would

never know him through human wisdom...

Christ is the power of God and the wisdom of God.

This foolish plan of God is wiser than the wisest of human plans,

and God's weakness is stronger than the greatest of human strength.

1 Corinthians 1:21, 24b&25

Christmas Surprises

Sometimes they're the best of buddies, off on an adventure, and the rest of the world is excluded from the mysteries of their schemes.  Other days it seems all he does is push her buttons.  She shrieks at the slightest provocation.  He's sure that she thinks he's stupid.  She's sure he's always planning on wrecking her stuff.  Lord help us all if either enters the other's room without permission!!

The quarrelling wears on my heart and in the busyness of these recent days I've been quick to react to their petty squabbles, sighing and wondering when they're going to learn not to react to the slightest instigation.

Today a little warmth seeped into my heart...

He bought her a gift.  It's perfect.  Shiny, sparkly, purple, and he knows she going to love it.  She knows he got something for her and went to the calendar to count, and recount, the number of days she has to wait to receive it.  He can't wait to give it to her.  She can't wait to open it.  She smiles her quiet smile because she's just so happy knowing that he has a gift for her.  

He wrapped it awkwardly, cleverly disguising it, delighting in the thought of how she'll love it.  This affection between then makes me laugh out loud and some of the busy tension seeps out of my shoulders.

It's about the waiting for the coming of the gift--the advent.  That is the glorious tension of these days.  The longing and the yearning to give the gift.  The knowing that the gift is coming.  The waiting.  The utter confidence that the gift is on it's way.  The anticipation.

No eye has seen, no ear has heard,

and no mind has imagined

what God has prepared for those who love him.

1 Corinthians 2:9

The Advent of Joy

We lit the "joy" candle in the advent wreath this morning, reminding us that the coming of Christ brings joy.

I love the joy candle because I 'get it'.  It's more than a ritual, it's something life-changing that I've experienced.  My heart does a little happy dance just thinking of it.

You see, joy isn't just the expression of an upbeat personality.  I've seen people who are quietly joyful and others who are a bit more exuberant in their expression.  It's not like winning the lottery--joyful isn't just a disposition you are born with or not. It's a person, Jesus, changing your life.  He gives you joy in the place of mourning.  It's real.

I'd like to tell you part of my story as an example...

In 1990 I decided I needed to change the trajectory of my life.  I ended a four-year relationship with a man, quit a job I really enjoyed, and moved from the east coast to the west.  I was confident that I was making the right choice, I just didn't know how hard it would be.  It was a lot of major life changes all at once.  I sank into depression.  I don't mean just feeling sad, I mean d.e.p.r.e.s.s.e.d.  The kind of heaviness that leaks out of your heart into your body and you feel like you can't even move.

One day I was lying on the living room floor wondering what my life had come to and if there was any possible way other than death to escape this hideous weight.  I really felt desperately at the end of my rope.

I love that God was Immanuel, God with me, at that moment.  He wasn't repelled by my sorry state, He met me in it.  I was crying out to Him for relief.  I felt an "urge" to try to sing a song--a simple, old gospel chorus: God is so good, God is so good, God is so good, He's so good to me.

If you've never been in that state of depression, it may sound silly to you that I could barely form the words.  It was all that I could do to whisper them, but it was enough to let in a ray of light.  I repeated the song over and over and over again until my voice grew stronger.  Eventually I was striding around the house, singing with all my might as though my life depended on it.  It did.

Nothing about my circumstances changed that day.  My heart still needed to mend, I needed to build new relationships and put down roots in a new place, but Joy filled my heart.  By declaring truth--that God is good--the darkness of despair was dispelled.  Lies of hopelessness were annihilated by the light of truth.  Joy came in the place of despair.

God is good.  All the time.  In the worst circumstances He has a plan for redemption.  When we've brought those circumstances upon ourselves by poor choices, He gives grace and restoration.  Anything else is a joy-destroying lie.  His truth brings Joy.

This is so much more than the power of positive thinking--it's an encounter with Jesus that transforms us.  He really did come to live among us, to share our sorrows and to make a way from darkness and despair to freedom.  Joy has come.

He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted

and to proclaim that captives will be released

and prisoners will be freed.

To all who mourn...

he will give a crown of beauty for ashes,

a joyous blessing instead of mourning,

festive praise instead of despair.

Isaiah 61:1b, 3

God With Us

"...The virgin will conceive a child!  She will give birth to a son and will call him Immanuel (which means 'God is with us')."


Most people in the English-speaking world are probably familiar with these words, even if they've never cracked open The Book.  I wonder how many aware of the context...


"...the hearts of the king and his people trembled with fear, like trees shaking in a storm."  They were surrounded by an enemy that seemed so much bigger and stronger than they.


Sounds familiar.  Does your heart tremble?  Are there situations in your finances, family and friends that cause your heart to sink?


Isaiah was sent to, "...tell him he doesn't need to fear the fierce anger of those two burned-out embers..."  


I guess their enemies didn't exactly appear to be "burned-out embers."  Neither do mine.  The enemies of fear, anxiety, discouragement...fill in the name of your enemies...seem alive and well and quite capable of overwhelming.  I forget that they are, in fact, a defeated foe.  Their power destroyed by the cross.  Power and authority over them granted to me.*


In the face of his doubt that these fierce enemies (who had a frightening track record!) were powerless to harm him, King Ahaz was challenged to ask for a sign, "Make it as difficult as you want--as high as heaven or as deep as the place of the dead."  He refused to ask for such a sign, but he was given one anyway.


"All right then, the Lord himself will give you the sign.  Look!  A virgin will conceive..."  Yep, that's pretty difficult.  Now I can't prove to you that, in fact, a virgin did conceive.  Naysayers abound.  I believe.  This I know for sure--He is indeed Immanuel, God with me!


Signs of His presence surround me.  I hear it in the laughter of my children.  I see it in the glory of orange and pink splashed across the evening sky.  I see it in the lives of my friends Paul and Judy who are spending Christmas on the other side of the world caring for the heart-broken and hungry.  I hear it in the peaceful voice of my sister-in-love who still waits for her miracle. 


For all the promises I still wait to see fulfilled, I have the comfort of the fulfilment of this one.


He is present, with us, in the midst of the mess of life.


Immanuel.

Isaiah 7
*Ephesians 2:6

Five Senses of Christmas

The kids are decorating Christmas cookies.  They're pretty independent about it and only want my help on demand.  No unsolicited advice, thanks.  Yesterday the dough was mixed and rolled and cut and baked.  Warm ones were sampled and given an "ummmm" of approval.  Unsolicited advice is required at this point to keep them all from disappearing.  Now it's time for the really fun part.

I love listening to their conversation...they're having fun with the design, but the best part seems to be anticipating how much our guests will enjoy them.  I'm reminded once again that love looks like something...a baby in a manger, a man on a cross, and little hands decorating cookies.

Love sounds like something...  A young woman whispering, "Be it unto me according to your word."   Angels singing, "Glory to God in the highest!"  Children saying, "They're really going to love this one!"

My son thinks love smells like food cooking and that it tastes like caramel corn.

Tonight love feels like sticky hands and the warm spot in my heart that's filled with gratitude for these gifts...

The Light

The countdown to Christmas is on now and slowly the decorations are coming out and the baking has begun.  There is a lot of bah-humbug around Christmas and I get it that the commercialism is nauseating and the pace can get out of control, but none of that can steal the sacred joy for me.  The season is full of poignant symbolism.  Everywhere you turn there are reminders of Truth.

Today we put up a little greenery with twinkling lights.  When the sun went down and all was bleak and gloomy at 4 p.m. we turned on the lights.  Ah!  Gloom was gone.  Suddenly all was cozy and comforting and the room looked like a refuge.  Those little lights were beacons drawing everyone in close.

The people who walk in darkness will see a great light.

For those who live in a land of deep darkness

a light will shine.

The Word gave life to everything that was created,

and his life brought light to everyone.

The light shines in the darkness,

and the darkness can never extinguish it.

For God who said, "Let there be light in the darkness,"

has made this light shine in our hearts

so that we could know the glory of God

that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ.

For those who live in darkness a light will shine...the darkness can never extinguish it...this light shines in our hearts...so that we can know the glory of God.

Thankful for the Light.

Isaiah 9:2; John 1:4-5; 2 Corinthians 4:6

Good Gifts

This afternoon my husband and I had a quiet, kid-free hour together so we started plotting and planning what we'll get the kids for Christmas. We brain-stormed different ideas, weighing one against another, picturing each of our unique children and trying to imagine what would best suit each one. It was fun. We had a sense of joy driven by an unspoken anticipation of Christmas morning and the moment when they'll open their gifts...

We have a Father who has been planning delights for us before the world was even created. (1 Peter 1:20) He knows exactly what you like. He knows that you're unique, and not quite like any of His other children. He knows the desires of your heart that you've never even told anyone else. Way back when He was dreaming up snowflakes and the Grand Canyon, He had you and the desires of your heart in mind. He smiled as He planned treasures for you.

It's not all "spiritual stuff" either. He created you body, soul, and spirit. He delights in all the parts of you and has blessings that touch every facet of your being.

Sometimes we can't believe that He has amazing gifts stored up for us because we're nursing resentment about the gift we didn't get. Like the monkey trapped with his hand in the jar we need to "let go" so we can receive the good gift planned for us.

Sometimes we have a hard time believing such things about our heavenly Papa because our experiences with humans have taught us not to expect too much... I bless you with knowing the truth about the abundant nature of your Heavenly Father.

Live in anticipation of receiving good things from your Papa. Anticipation is not whining or demanding, but an alert trust that His plans for you are good. When your anticipation meets the longing of His heart to heap blessings on you amazing things happen!

Every good gift and every perfect present
comes from heaven;
it comes down from God,
the creator of the heavenly lights,
who does not change or cause darkness by turning.
James 1:17 GNT

Silent, Holy Night

I love this silent, holy night. The presents are under the tree. The children are asleep. It's quiet and the hush somehow seems holy to me. I always stay up a little bit longer to savour this moment.

What makes it so special? It's just another winter night. The lights and the music are nice. But there's something more. It's the "something" that changes everything.

Two thousand years ago there were ordinary shepherds on a hillside doing an ordinary job. There was an ordinary girl expecting a baby. An ordinary stable full of, you know, the things you would ordinarily expect to find in a stable. Well, it would have been ordinary...but everything was infused with the presence of God and that makes all the difference. Ordinary people, things, and events become extraordinary in the hands of God.

An angel of the Lord came and told Mary some pretty unbelievable stuff and she asked, "How can this be?" The angel answered her, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you and the power of the Most High will overshadow you." That's it. She didn't have to try to get it all right, she simply said, "Be it unto me according to your word." And nothing has ever been the same. Everything was changed because an ordinary girl said, "Okay, you can use me. I trust you."

So, this ordinary night is not so ordinary. There is a holy hush because we've been focusing on a miracle and we've been filled with praise. We've come to adore Him. When we worship the "Holy Spirit comes upon us" and nothing is the same. Ordinary people become extraordinary. They can forgive the unforgivable, love the unlovable, laugh through tears, and have peace in the middle of a storm--all because the power of the Most High is overshadowing.

God always uses ordinary people who surrender to Him in trust. There's stuff we simply cannot accomplish on our own, but when we say, "Be it unto me according to your word," extraordinary things happen.

Hope

Christmas...it's all about hope.

This morning my prayers are filled with "biggies". Prayers for two families celebrating their first Christmas without a father, for a family whose Christmas joy is diluted with the sadness of an empty chair belonging to an estranged son, for a dear friend sitting by her newborn baby in the NICU, for my dad's worsening and undiagnosed health problems...bigger stuff than what to get Aunt Bertha for Christmas. And, yet, I have this hope!

Paradise was, indeed, lost. God created this perfect earth, lavishly filling it with every good thing. He created people because He wanted friends. But sin came...and we've all suffered the pain of it one way or another. But the very God who was rejected couldn't bear the separation! So He sent His Son.

His Son.

For you.

For me.

All because the great God of the universe, the God who is so huge we can't even begin to comprehend how vast and how great He is, wants to be connected to us. Just stop and think about that for a minute.

A stinky stable. A mother who was most likely gossiped about. A humble father from nowhere. Fleabitten shepherds. And a sky filled with glorious angels declaring, "Peace on earth, good will toward men!!"

Peace on earth? But what about _________ ? What about that big list of heavy duty prayer requests? People often ask, "If there's a good God, how come so many bad things happen?" And yet, of all the gods in the history of mankind, this is the only God who lavishes love on a world that rejected Him and continues to reject Him. I say, wow, what a God! That's an irresistible love.

Yes, I'm grieving with those who grieve. I'm also celebrating with them the good fruit that will continue for generations because of the faith of their fathers. I ache when I see that little baby in NICU, and I'm filled with gratitude because her little life is already a story of miracles. I long for sons to be reconciled to their families, and I believe because I know so many stories of reconciliations that could only have happened by the grace of God.

We continue to see the consequences of sin and separation from God. And we have a promise for a day when there will be no more pain, tears, sorrow and dying. (Revelation 21:4)

On this sparkly, Christmasy morning I bring my requests to God with thanksgiving and hope because I've seen His Love born in a manger, crucified on a cross, resurrected from the dead, redeeming in the present, and promising to come back and make all things new.

"Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this:

The faithful love of the Lord never ends!

His mercies never cease.

Great is his faithfulness;

His mercies begin afresh each morning.

I say to myself,

The Lord is my inheritance;

therefore I will hope in Him!

The Lord is good to those who depend on Him

to those who search for Him.

So it is good to wait

quietly for salvation from the Lord."


Lamentations 3:21-26

I Need to See Him

"And so this is Christmas..." Strains of one of my favorite Christmas CD's wafted through the house as we decorated--almost drowned out by the squabbling of my children setting up the nativity scene. Good times!!

For years I didn't have a nativity set because I wanted just the right one. It had to be a bit rustic and kind of authentic looking. About six years ago a friend gave one to me and it's perfect. Perfect because it reminds us of our good friends every year and perfect because the stable is made out of barn wood and all the little characters are country and homey. Everyone wants to be part of setting it up, but this year somehow two of my kids started on it without the rest of the family. I waited to see how they would negotiate the process without my intervention. Things went okay for a while, but then got a little heated. Seems the problem was that one child wanted to arrange everything nicely, like a picture so you could see each figure. I understood her point completely. I like things to be esthetically pleasing. However, her brother was adamant--they came to see Jesus!! They couldn't see Him if they were all standing around looking nice.

Ouch.

I had to think on that for a while.

I like to think I've come a long way in this area. I'm pretty unconcerned about what the general public thinks of me. However, I've recently been reminded of how uncomfortable I am when someone I respect doesn't think much of something I value. I am uncomfortable with disappointing my friends and family. And you know what? It is difficult to see Him when I'm focused looking nice.

A lot of the stresses that come with Christmas have to do with this whole business of "looking nice"... The process of buying gifts that feel more like an obligation than a gift. Making decisions about how we celebrate so as not to disappoint anyone. Our kids may helpfully point out that their friends get more presents or cooler presents. We may feel pressures and expectations from our extended families. The list goes on.

The angels declared to the shepherds that Christ had come to bring peace. Ironically, the squabbling of my children helped to bring that peace back to my heart. There's no peace in trying to look nice to everyone. You can't please all the people all of the time. But there's a tremendous amount of peace when you go "see Jesus".

Attempts have been made to rearrange the nativity scene so that it looks nicer, but it doesn't take long before all those little shepherds and wisemen are crowded around the manager once again and I smile.

Come, let us adore Him.


"You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You, whose thoughts are fixed on You!" Isaiah26:3