Getting Your Face Washed

Today is Ash Wednesday.  When my kids attended the Catholic school they were required to attend mass on this day.  The priest would mark the sign of the cross on their foreheads with a mixture of ashes and holy water to remind them of repentance.  They were to leave this black smudge for the rest of the day as a sign of humility.

They hated it.  It was itchy.  It felt shameful to them.  They couldn't wait to wash it off as soon as they came home.  I have to say that I was happy to remove that stain from the faces of the little ones I love.  Turns out it's a pretty effective object lesson in so many ways...

Sin can be so much fun at the time--afterward it's so uncomfortable.  It itches and rankles and tears at our spirits.  Regret blocks out the sunlight.  Shame saps energy.  We just wish it could be wiped away...and it can!  What joy it is to be cleansed!  How much joy it must give our Father when we let Him remove the stain!  How awful would it be to keep that stain when He's longing to remove it?

I remember a day when the kids were all preschoolers and I was trying to get everyone out the door, but no one else felt any sense of urgency.  In fact, they were squabbling in the doorway.  I totally lost my temper and I YELLED at them.  It worked.  They paid attention and in that moment it was such a relief to let loose with my emotions.  But it wasn't long until I began to feel ashamed.  They were being kids, very little kids, kids in training.  Yes, there were plenty of reasons why I felt pushed right over the edge.  I'm human and I'd reached my limit.  I felt awful.  I'd dishonoured little people that I loved very much.  I told them I was sorry, but I still felt gross.

When I arrived at my destination I burst into tears, telling my friend all about what a horrible mother I was.  My little one came up to me and--with very big, earnest, blue eyes--asked why I was crying.  I told her I felt so awful for losing my temper.  She reminded me that I'd said sorry to them and then asked, "Did you tell Jesus you're sorry?"  I responded that, yes, I had.

"Well, then you're just being silly!"  And she ran off to play.

I laughed.  A wobbly, watery, semi-hysterical laugh.  She'd nailed it.  Taken away all my right to wallow in shame.  Gone.  Washed.  Free.

We have no business punishing ourselves.  Whether we've lost our tempers or committed a "biggie," the price for our freedom has been paid.  To say we cannot forgive ourselves is the worst kind of pride, it is to say that His gift is not enough.

If we've harmed others through our sin, we need to make it right with them and then go get our face washed.

Today is a good day to have the stain washed away.  Smudges of dirt and shame don't belong on the faces of the King's children.  You were created to shine with His glory...it's not a glory earned, but bestowed.  Let Him wash you.  He's longing to.

I've tried everything and nothing helps.  

I'm at the end of my rope.

Is there no one who can do anything for me?

Isn't that the real question?

The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does.

He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions 

where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind,

but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.

With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved.

Those who enter in Christ's being-here-for-us 

no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud.

A new power is in operation.

The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind,

has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you

from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death.

Romans 7:24-25;8:1-2 MSG

Loss and Hope

My Aunt Barb visited this weekend.  We haven't seen each other for 21 years.  Life has led each of us to different parts of the country, and sometimes to different continents.  It was so wonderful to be with her and for my husband and children to become acquainted with her.

Our visiting also stirred up some pain that had been lying dormant.  Her husband was my favourite uncle.  I guess he still is, but I haven't seen him for 28 years.  He was taken from us, violently, by the hands of one whom we had cared for.  My Uncle Gerry was a pastor, a man who loved God, and truly believed that love should be lived out, poured out, on the broken and hungry.  He was killed "in the line of duty."

It almost felt wrong grieving again after so many years, but are there any rules about when grieving starts and ends?  Loss is...just that, loss.  There was a time when I wrestled and struggled and was so angry that God would let this evil happen.  I no longer hold Him responsible for the choices of men.  However, I am reminded that ANY time any of us listen to the lies of the enemy, choose sin, reject truth...there's a price to pay.  

Sin causes pain.

I talked to my aunt for hours.  We caught up as adults.  She raised, I am raising, three kids.  Her story is full of miracles--the greatest being the power of forgiveness.  No less amazing to me are all the stories of miraculous provision.  Sin may have stolen her husband in his prime, but Jesus has not abandoned her.

Jesus brings healing.  He paid the eternal price AND He brings healing to us here and now.

There are still fracture lines of pain running through our extended family because of this loss.  There is also a powerful testimony that God and His love are real and that there's hope for healing after devastating loss.  

I have a burning passion to tell you, to tell everyone, that there's healing for you, that the pain doesn't need to multiply and spread.  That God doesn't just heal our hearts, He promises to "repay two blessings for each of your troubles."   He promises that there will be a day when "He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain."*

This is no pie-in-the-sky promise.  I've seen the down payment on the promise...the joy in my aunt, the end of the torment in my own heart, in the hundreds who have received the gift of God's love in the wake of my uncle's death.  In his life and death they saw what Love looks like.

Because of the covenant I made with you, sealed with blood,

I will free your prisoners from death...

Come back to the place of safety,  all you prisoners who still have hope!

I promise this very day that I will repay two blessings for each of your troubles.

Zechariah 9:11-12 NLT

*Revelation 21:4

His Delight

"Where is another God like you...you delight in showing unfailing love."

You delight in showing unfailing love.

I have yet to plumb the depths of this mystery.  When I fail I'm so overcome with sadness.  I'm sure He's not thrilled either...just as I am not when my children make poor choices.  In that sadness it never crosses my mind that He delights in showing me unfailing love.  I get that He forgives me.  That He is good and has made a way for my redemption.  But delight?

Delight is defined as "a high degree of gratification, joy, something that gives great pleasure."

I think I've pictured Him as sort of patient, kind, and definitely long-suffering as He grants me forgiveness (again!).  Meditating on this verse is further revising the picture in my mind.

This verse is referring specifically to forgiveness of sin.  It goes on:

"Once again you will have compassion on us.  You will trample our sins under your feet and throw them into the depths of the ocean!"

Yes, His Spirit brings conviction.  It's good, so good, to recognize the need of repentance.

Some, at this point, may picture anger on His face.  Some may see kindness, long-suffering, or even benevolence.  Delight?

He has joy at our repentance.  The price has already been paid for our transgression and He delights in offering that gift to us.  It gives Him great joy!  His arms are thrown wide open, He's running to meet us, He's ready to throw a party!  Not because we've sinned, but because we've sought restoration.

Can you picture Him scooping you up into a big bear hug with a rumble of joy-laughter in His chest?

He delights in showing His unfailing love.


Micah 7:18-19

Forgiven and Blessed

She said, "You said..." and I said, "I didn't say.."  But it didn't make any difference so what do you say?  Sorry.  I never meant for you to feel that way.

It rankles and burns.  Sometimes you just can't make things right no matter what you say.  When you don't want the poison to sour your soul what do you do with it?

Take it to the One who knows, who's been misunderstood a thousand ways.  Tell Him how much it hurts and then forgive.  What is the forgiving but giving up my right to vindication?  Surrendering it to the One who sets all things straight some day in some way.  Giving you freedom from my revenge, giving me freedom from bitterness.  Giving what I've already received in abundant measure.  Grace.

He's given one more instruction...after the forgiving, bless.  What better blessing than to pray that the offender would sense the incredible love of the Father?  That peace and calm would come...that they would discover rest in the Father's arms.

Extending grace is a God-sized job.  Thankful for the abundance of His grace toward me...thankful that I am free of a debt I could never repay...thankful for His Spirit within that makes the impossible possible.

You're familiar with the old written law, "love your friend,"

 and it's unwritten companion, "Hate your enemy.

I'm challenging that.  I'm telling you to love your enemies.

Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst.

When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer,

for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves.

This is what God does.  He gives his best--

the sun to warm and the rain to nourish--to everyone, regardless:

the good and bad, the nice and nasty.

If all you do is love the loveable, do you expect a bonus?  Anybody can do that...

In a word, what I'm saying is, Grow up.

You're kingdom subjects.  Now live like it.  

Live out your God-created identity.

Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.

~Jesus

Matthew 5:43-48 MSG

He's Devising a Way

My recent venture into homeschooling has given rise to much thought on how God the Father relates to us, His kids.  My recognition of the need to love more like He loves has increased dramatically. (He's incredibly long suffering and patient--I am not!)  I've been spending a lot more time meditating on His love and what it looks like...which is guaranteed to make one fall more and more in love with Him!

I came across a verse that I feel I've never seen before.  (Don't you love it when that happens?)

"But God does not just sweep life away;

instead, he devises ways to bring us back when we have been separated from him."

2 Samuel 14:14b

He doesn't sweep life away...He devises ways to bring us back.  Wow.

He doesn't get angry or offended, rather He yearns to draw us back to Him.

For the soul aching with shame...He has no desire to sweep you away.  He's longing to restore your connection to Him.

For the one who feels they've messed up and wrecked things beyond repair...not so.

If your heart feels despair over one was has wandered and you've lost hope for restoration...take comfort.  He is, at this very moment, devising ways to bring that one back to Him.  Pray with renewed faith.

Comfort and conviction.

I sometimes want to "sweep away" those who irritate or inconvenience me.  This alone separates me from Him, but He has devised a way...  The capacity to sustain love for the unlovable isn't instinctive or human.  To love like He loves means soaking up His love for me so I can extend the same love to others.

 We love each other because he loved us first.

1 John 4:19

Thoughts on Forgiveness

A few days ago the memory of someone I hadn't seen for a really long time popped into my head. The nicest way I can describe this person is that they're a real pain in the lower posterior parts. (I apologize if that offends you.) This person didn't abuse me in any particularly horrific way, but they did hurt me a lot with their words and their actions were pretty unpleasant too. Just thinking about them made me want to give them a piece of my mind all over again. Ah! There was a clue that Jesus and I needed to have a talk about this. I thought I'd already forgiven this person and I had, but my gut reaction told me that there was more work to be done.

Jesus had a bit to say about forgiveness and He set the bar pretty high. How many times do we need to forgive someone who wrongs us? Pretty much to infinity. (Matthew 18:21-22) What if we don't forgive? God won't forgive us. (Matthew 6:15) (I find that one pretty terrifying since I need His forgiveness a lot.) When we let unforgiveness settle in it becomes bitterness and resentment. There's a whole lot about that in the Bible too and it's not good.

Whoever coined the phrase "To err is human, to forgive is divine" was really on to something. When it comes to forgiveness we really need the help of the Holy Spirit. The good news is that He's ready and eager to help us!

My thoughts on forgiveness led me to two conclusions: 1. When I don't forgive someone (or let go of my resentment) it's because I think they need to suffer a bit before I can be okay; and 2. I think that their actions can somehow thwart God's good plans for my life.

Romans 12:19 says:

Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, "I will take revenge I will pay them back," says the Lord.

So, if we're not willing to leave the "payback" to God, does that mean we don't trust Him, that we don't believe He'll do what He says He'll do? When I think very long on this verse I find myself wanting to make sure my own accounts with God are clear.

As far as someone else's actions thwarting God's good plans for my life... Well, actually, I'm the only one that can do that!! A good way to do it is by hanging on to bitterness and resentment. The promise about His good plans for us in Jeremiah 29:11 doesn't say anything about "unless...". Unless someone abuses you or lies to you or gossips about you or says horrible and hurtful things to you or doesn't appreciate you or disappoints your expectations... It's a given that some or all of those things are going to happen to you if you interact with broken human beings. The Good News is that we don't have to live broken and devastated because of them!

Jeremiah 30:17 contains a beautiful promise: "'I will give you back your health and heal your wounds,' says the Lord." Hurtful things that are said and done to us can definitely cause great sickness in our spirits, souls and bodies. God says He'll restore our broken places if we'll surrender them to Him: "I will give you back your health and heal you." This just makes me want to snuggle right up close to my Papa, be healed, and let Him take care of the bad guys.

Of course, we have an enemy who wants the poison of resentment to remain in our hearts. As humans with a capacity to remember things, it's easy to let the toxins creep back in. Jesus told us a really good way to take care of this: "Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you." (Luke 6:28) If we start to pray for blessing in the lives of those who hurt us, two really great things are going to happen. There will be no room for unforgiveness, and God will be answering our prayers for them. Let me tell you that there have been some people I've had to pray many blessings on before I no longer felt a twitch at the thought of them! Someone asked me if I didn't think it was wrong to bless a person who was intentionally living in sin? Well, a huge part of God's great blessing in our lives is conviction of sin. What greater blessing is there than to be free of the curse of sin? When we pray for God to bless them, we're leaving it all in His good and perfect hands.

Filling my mind with all these thoughts of God's goodness and His promises made me want to repent of the bitterness and to let go of the pain and the traces of resentment toward this person. If anyone comes to mind that you need to forgive, or forgive again, I pray that you will and that God will bless you with a great awareness of His love for you. He's got it covered. He'll take care of the junk. He just wants you to let it all go so that your hands will be empty of the stuff you've been hanging onto--with your hands free you can receive His gifts. He's longing to overwhelm you with His goodness.


(Please note that this post isn't about having healthy boundaries with unhealthy people, just about the heart issues.)