My fingertips have been silent for a week. I wanted to write, but it seemed the well had run dry. I didn't like it. Speaking, declaring, writing...words of hope unleashed in any form make me vibrantly, passionately alive. The nasty double whammy is that heaviness, by it's very nature, makes it hard for us to find the key to precisely what is amiss.
Then call on me when you are in trouble,
and I will rescue you,
and you will give me glory...
I called. And called. I'm not always good at listening right away. Quicker to make accusations about whose fault is what, to play the blame game. A futile game that's not actually fun so I don't know why it's called a game...
Four days later I listened. Really listened. Quietly. Then I knew. Pain had come because of who said what, but the heaviness came because of what I agreed with..and it wasn't what any human said. It was the voices that say, "You don't make any sense. You say stupid things. You're really bad at communicating..." It sounded enough like the truth that I believed it. That was enough to shut down the flow.
I repented to the One who has filled me with words...sorry, so sorry, that I've believed the stupid lies again. Forgave the one who misunderstood. I'm not always good at communicating. I need grace. Lots of it. But I have been given something to say and I need to say it...no one else will say it in quite the same way or to the same people. Because the words He gives are spirit and life, they're powerful. Of course, the enemy will assault, attack, and undermine at every opportunity.
You have an assignment too. It's unique to you and no one else can do it. When you're on assignment you may feel terrified, but also vividly alive. Perhaps you too can recognize that this gift gets horribly assaulted from time to time. Call on Him when you're in trouble. He will rescue. Cast off the lie and shine. We need you.
The rescued ones give Him glory!
He taught me how to sing the latest God-song,
a praise song to our God.
More and more people are seeing this:
they enter the mystery, abandoning themselves to God.
Psalm 40:3 MSG