He's Devising a Way

My recent venture into homeschooling has given rise to much thought on how God the Father relates to us, His kids.  My recognition of the need to love more like He loves has increased dramatically. (He's incredibly long suffering and patient--I am not!)  I've been spending a lot more time meditating on His love and what it looks like...which is guaranteed to make one fall more and more in love with Him!

I came across a verse that I feel I've never seen before.  (Don't you love it when that happens?)

"But God does not just sweep life away;

instead, he devises ways to bring us back when we have been separated from him."

2 Samuel 14:14b

He doesn't sweep life away...He devises ways to bring us back.  Wow.

He doesn't get angry or offended, rather He yearns to draw us back to Him.

For the soul aching with shame...He has no desire to sweep you away.  He's longing to restore your connection to Him.

For the one who feels they've messed up and wrecked things beyond repair...not so.

If your heart feels despair over one was has wandered and you've lost hope for restoration...take comfort.  He is, at this very moment, devising ways to bring that one back to Him.  Pray with renewed faith.

Comfort and conviction.

I sometimes want to "sweep away" those who irritate or inconvenience me.  This alone separates me from Him, but He has devised a way...  The capacity to sustain love for the unlovable isn't instinctive or human.  To love like He loves means soaking up His love for me so I can extend the same love to others.

 We love each other because he loved us first.

1 John 4:19

Grace

"Why are you putting those letters there?"

The shelf has been there as long as we've lived in this house.  It's a weathered board, a piece of an old grainary, once the storehouse of someone's bounty, now it holds treasured keepsakes, each a memory of a special friend and a unique blessing bestowed.  It hangs at the main intersection of our house, between kitchen and dining room, where all our intense living happens.

On this day, I placed five letters below.

G R A C E

I need the bold reminder.

I need grace.  Badly.

I'm so not perfect.  I hate it.  I find myself wishing I was a better wife, mother, friend.  To make matters worse no one else around me is perfect either!  Sometimes in this space of intense living frustration brews and impatience stews.  Sometimes it bursts out and shrapnel rips and wounds.  Sometimes a sense of inadequacy drains all my energy.  All my wishing accomplishes nothing.  The only thing that will make any difference is grace.  I must open myself to receive it, acknowledging my failure/inadequacy and His tender desire to come and redeem.  Apart from Him I can do nothing.  I can't make myself better so He'll receive me.  I need to make myself humble so He can restore.  I need to receive grace for myself.  I need to extend grace to the imperfect ones I love.

Grace floods in when we open the door!  In spite of my weakness, because of His greatness, amazing things happen.  Relationships are strengthened instead of eroded.  Love grows instead of bitterness.  It's an inside out, upside down economy where the deficit of failure, and the zero of my ability to do things perfectly are turned into treasure...because of grace, amazing grace.

Grace.

To receive and give.

Because he first loved us.

If death got the upper hand through one man's wrongdoing,

can you imagine the breathtaking recovery life makes,

sovereign life,

in those who grasp with both hands this wildly extravagant life-gift,

this grand setting-everything-right,

that the one man Jesus Christ provides?

Romans 5:17 MSG

The Difficult Obedience

When He asks something of us and we choose to obey...in that moment we only know what we are giving up, letting go of, surrendering.  We may have hopes and ideas about the fruit of our obedience, but the only thing we know for sure is what we are giving--and hopefully the One to whom we are giving.  Therein lies the guarantee.

The boy with the loaves and fish was sought out by the disciples and asked if he would give what he had.  Five loaves and two fish sounds like a huge lunch to me, but I imagine his mother packing a lunch for him as I do for my son.  Some boys need to eat a lot.  They love eating!  As I picture this young lad in my mind, I wonder if he was reluctant to give up his lunch?  My son would be--he's always hungry.  Or perhaps when he looked into the eyes of the Son of God his hesitation melted away?  Whatever the case, when he put his "little" into the hands of the Master something profoundly amazing happened.  I'm sure he had no idea in the moment of "letting go" what was about to unfold.  We still talk about it two thousand years later.

Sometimes the giving asked of us feels huge and we wrestle with it--whether it's our tithe or our time or, you know, whatever it is He's asking of you.  In that moment all we can see is what it's going to cost us.  Unless we look at the One to whom we give it.  The greatest we have to give is nothing in comparison to the One to whom we give.

Sometimes I struggle because I place such a high value on what I'm letting go of...as though He wouldn't turn it into something far greater than I could imagine.  Sometimes what I have to give seems paltry or even pathetic in the face of the need.  Much like five loaves to feed five thousand.

The world is in desperate need of what He can do with our "little".  Given, blessed, broken, nourishment for many.

And he took the five cakes of bread and the two fishes and,

 looking up to heaven,

he said words of blessing over them, and when they had been broken,

he gave them to the disciples to give to the people.

Luke 9:16

Shining and Doing

"How do I let my light shine?"

He is intense and frustrated.

"How do I know that I'm doing it?"

He has a ferocious scowl when he's this serious.

I know, little son, I know.  But how do I explain it to you when it's a dance I'm still fumbling through myself?  I know the direction of the steps, but execute them better some days than others.  It'll be no help to explain the grammar of "letting".

I know it's not about doing.  And yet we crave the doing.

Check.

Yep.

Got it right.

There's so much safety in defining the doing and then checking it off as accomplished.  Never mind the security of knowing that those who choose to judge me will come to the conclusion that I'm getting it right.

Therein lies the essence of the Pharisees.  And exhaustion.  It's only attractive to those with the same disease.  To everyone else it looks like oppression.

It's more about being...which feels a bit too vague until you get in the habit.  Choosing gratitude, believing that He is good and His plans for us are good.  Living aware of His presence.   Meditating on His love and grace.  Every act becoming an act of worship.  Falling in love all over again.  Joy begins to bubble up and suddenly the light is shining whether you're rescuing orphans or holding the door for someone. Scrubbing the floor (again!) or feeding the homeless.   Light is shining!

It's not an excuse for not doing.  It's just that the doing comes out of the being.  It's the response of a lover rather than a laborer.  It's joy.  It's a beacon of hope.

And so I told him about the moon and the sun and how the moon reflects the sun when its face is turned to the light.  How living with our faces turned to the Son is what makes our light shine no matter what we're doing.  That might seem too abstract and complicated...to an adult.  His little brow smoothed and he snuggled in with a sigh.  He may not be able to explain it to someone else, but something deep inside resonated and he rested.

I'll walk with you, little man, and we'll learn the steps together.

No Emergencies

Once again, words popping out of my mouth that I'd never even thought of:  "God has never known an emergency."

Really?  They feel like emergencies to me.  Then again, I'm sure that has everything to do with my perspective.

The nasty thing about eating the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil is that I'm constantly making judgments and decrees about what is good or evil, an "emergency" or "no problem".

And I don't have a clue.

How many times have I seen what looked like a huge problem become the platform for an incredible blessing?  I just haven't gotten into the habit of anticipating it.

I'm longing to live in a place of steady trust.  Rest.  Perfect peace that He's got it all under control.  I want my response to a perceived emergency to be expectation.  Expecting the unexpected.  Waiting for the miracle.  Childlike wonder.

"Come to me with your ears wide open.  Listen and you will find life...

My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,'

says the Lord.

'And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.'"

Isaiah 55:3&8

He Speaks

He's called himself a Christian for many, many years.  He knows there is a God and that in some way  He cares.  But there have been so many disappointments...so many times he didn't get the answer he was hoping for...some of the people in his past who had used God's name had been unkind, even abusive.

He was sitting at our table, shoulders slightly hunched, a twinkle in his eye revealing his delight in the chatter of the children.

The kids were talking about asking God for guidance.

The man blurted, "God doesn't talk to me!"  He was almost teasing.  Almost.

The little one turned to him, with blue eyes very wide, "Yes, He does," she said with gravity.  "You ask Him things and then later an idea pops into your head and you just think it's your thoughts, but it's really God speaking to you."

It's really God speaking to you.

Silence fell on all of us.  It was a holy moment.  Truth had invaded the space around us.


I was reminded again this week of how an idea can "pop into your head" and it's really God speaking.  Taking someone a cup of coffee is more than just a nice thing to do when it's divinely inspired.  The idea, acted upon, bears beautiful fruit.

Obviously, not every thought that pops into our heads comes from God! He would never tell us to do something contrary to His word.  However, I've been reminded to be alert, "listening," for the ones that are from Him.  Life lived this way is never mundane, always an adventure!

Listen.  He speaks.  Listen for messages of love, compassion, and hope...for the you and the world around you.

"But I will reveal my name to my people,

and they will come to know its power.

Then at last they will recognize that I am the one who speaks to them.

How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of the messenger

who brings good news,

the good news of peace and salvation

the news that the God of Israel reigns!"

Isaiah 52:6-7

Unbalanced

Balance is one of our cultural buzz words. Really, who doesn't appreciate the wisdom in making sure that we work and play, run and rest? It just makes sense. Usually.

However, there is this "other world" that influences mine. An economy that doesn't quite function along the lines of my natural, human logic. It's unbalanced. It calls me to places of extreme. It is in that upside-down, inside-out, illogical place of obedience I find a rest that "balance" could never bring.

Obedience is sometimes huge and difficult, but goes unnoticed by any other than the cheering angels. Sometimes our obedience is public and open to censure.

Our family is being called to some obedience that feels a little extreme and, by it's nature, public. We're going to home school two of our three children. The reactions of others and my own emotions have sometimes left me feeling wildly unbalanced. I dread the negative responses and I have moments of being uncomfortably aware that there are challenges ahead of me. Each time I go back over all that has lead us to this point, I find myself in a gloriously unbalanced place of restful exhilaration.

I'm starting a new blog that will be more specific to our adventures in homeschooling and I will continue writing more general posts here. If you'd like to join me on our journey and hopefully receive encouragement for your own journey--whatever it may be--you can follow on Wild Obedience.

I bless you with the courage live gloriously unbalanced in whatever ways God is calling you.

"I recommend we abandon the dream of balance.

Maybe you can attain to balance fleetingly, in Zenlike moments of personal bliss,

but generally the kingdom of God permits us no such inner quietude and windless poise. The kingdom of God since the days of John the Baptist,

Jesus said, has been forcefully advancing, and forceful people, violent people--unbalanced men and women, I take that to mean--lay hold of it."

~Mark Buchanan