Facing the Giants

I'm a morning person. In the evening I can be anything from dopey to downright irritable. Ever since I've been a mom I've treasured my quiet time in the morning before the kids get up. My son's a morning person too and, no matter how quiet I am, he often joins me in that early morning quiet. When he does he asks for the same story. Every time. David and Goliath. Lest you think I'm some kind of extraordinarily saintly mother, I will confess to my heart sinking when the pitter-patter his feet invade my quiet, but I've valiantly turned from my choice of reading to I Samuel 17. It's come in handy lately. As I've pointed out valuable lessons from the story to my son, I've been preaching to myself...

Lately, his temper has felt like a giant bigger than Goliath. I face giants of anxiety. We've talked about the size of the giant and the size of the boy and the size of the stone that felled the giant. How was it that a boy with a stone was able to conquer a giant? The answer is in David's declaration: "I come to you in the name of the Lord of Heaven's Armies...Today the Lord will conquer you and I will kill you and cut off your head!" The only size that mattered was the size of the God in whom he trusted. David knew that he had to do his part, but it was going to be the power of God that would destroy His enemy.

David knew God. How did he know Him well enough to dare to defy a giant that had older, more experienced men shaking in their boots? In the years leading up to this day, David had been shepherding his father's sheep. A pretty mundane life, indeed. (Do you feel like your job/life is pretty mundane sometimes?) He had a lot of time on his hands where his mind wasn't too occupied and what did he do with it? He meditated--focused his thoughts--on God. He worshiped and praised God. A reading of the Psalms of David show that he saw God in everything around Him (Psalm 145 is good example). He knew about God's character because he was focused on all that God could and did do. When it came to facing an enemy David knew what God could do. He was more in awe of God than the giant.

Giants have a way of blocking out the light and even drowning out all other sounds. Yet, when David faced Goliath not even the roar of the giant's taunts could drown David's confidence in the Lord of Heaven's Armies! All those years of building intimacy with God prepared him for this day when a giant was defeated and whole nation was liberated!

Giants are inevitable. Intimacy with God is optional. I want to be more like David.

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them and they follow me.
I give them eternal life, and they will never perish.
No one can snatch them away from me,
for my Father has given them to me and
He is more powerful than anyone else.
No one can snatch them from the Father's hand.
John 10:27-29

Does He Like Me?

"Mom, do you think God likes me?"

Big, earnest eyes were begging an honest answer. The little guy has been through a challenging couple of weeks, learning difficult lessons about decisions and consequences and self-control. Giants for the best of us, much less a little boy. After failing yet again, an important question surfaces: I believe God forgives me, but does He like me?

My parenting experiences have given my a much deeper understanding of God's Father heart. We're imperfect parents and we love our kids so much--how much greater is the love of the Perfect Father? (Luke 11:11)

My love for my son hasn't lessened one bit as he's been experiencing this "learning curve". If anything, I'm more aware than ever how much I love him. There's nothing I wouldn't do right now to help him over this hurdle. How much more our heavenly Father...? He went to the extreme lengths of sacrificing His Son to make a way for us imperfect, fumbling children to be reconnected with Him. Everything about the life of Jesus expresses His huge yearning for relationship with us. His Holy Spirit is freely available to us to comfort and encourage and strengthen us as we face "giants".

And then there's the whole discipline thing... It's tough to let my son face the consequences of his decisions. Not rescuing our kids from consequences has required greater strength than lots of other things I've had to do. How much more our heavenly Father...? I think I understand a little more of how much it must make His heart ache when choose to ignore the commandments He's given to us for our own well being. How often has He had to endure our whining and acting like a victim when what is happening is simply the consequence of our choice to ignore His way and choose our own? It's definitely an act of profound love to let someone you love suffer from the consequences of their choices. (Hebrews 12:5-11)

As the perfect Father, God can do so much more than we earthly parents can: He can redeem our messes and make something beautiful come out of them if we'll surrender to Him! (Romans 8:26-30) Everything about His nature is redeeming, restoring, and reviving.

So, does He like us even though we don't get it right all the time? I love the question because I love the answer! Yes!! "But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners... So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God." (Romans 5:8&11, emphasis added) He loved us when we were messing things up in complete rebellion--how much more now that we're seeking Him and His help? And friends of God? Wow. I like my friends a lot--even though they're not perfect.

And so I answered my son confidently, "Yes, buddy, I know He likes you. He likes you a lot!"

"For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs." (Zepaniah 3:17)

"For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust." (Psalm 103:11-14)

Thoughts on Forgiveness

A few days ago the memory of someone I hadn't seen for a really long time popped into my head. The nicest way I can describe this person is that they're a real pain in the lower posterior parts. (I apologize if that offends you.) This person didn't abuse me in any particularly horrific way, but they did hurt me a lot with their words and their actions were pretty unpleasant too. Just thinking about them made me want to give them a piece of my mind all over again. Ah! There was a clue that Jesus and I needed to have a talk about this. I thought I'd already forgiven this person and I had, but my gut reaction told me that there was more work to be done.

Jesus had a bit to say about forgiveness and He set the bar pretty high. How many times do we need to forgive someone who wrongs us? Pretty much to infinity. (Matthew 18:21-22) What if we don't forgive? God won't forgive us. (Matthew 6:15) (I find that one pretty terrifying since I need His forgiveness a lot.) When we let unforgiveness settle in it becomes bitterness and resentment. There's a whole lot about that in the Bible too and it's not good.

Whoever coined the phrase "To err is human, to forgive is divine" was really on to something. When it comes to forgiveness we really need the help of the Holy Spirit. The good news is that He's ready and eager to help us!

My thoughts on forgiveness led me to two conclusions: 1. When I don't forgive someone (or let go of my resentment) it's because I think they need to suffer a bit before I can be okay; and 2. I think that their actions can somehow thwart God's good plans for my life.

Romans 12:19 says:

Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, "I will take revenge I will pay them back," says the Lord.

So, if we're not willing to leave the "payback" to God, does that mean we don't trust Him, that we don't believe He'll do what He says He'll do? When I think very long on this verse I find myself wanting to make sure my own accounts with God are clear.

As far as someone else's actions thwarting God's good plans for my life... Well, actually, I'm the only one that can do that!! A good way to do it is by hanging on to bitterness and resentment. The promise about His good plans for us in Jeremiah 29:11 doesn't say anything about "unless...". Unless someone abuses you or lies to you or gossips about you or says horrible and hurtful things to you or doesn't appreciate you or disappoints your expectations... It's a given that some or all of those things are going to happen to you if you interact with broken human beings. The Good News is that we don't have to live broken and devastated because of them!

Jeremiah 30:17 contains a beautiful promise: "'I will give you back your health and heal your wounds,' says the Lord." Hurtful things that are said and done to us can definitely cause great sickness in our spirits, souls and bodies. God says He'll restore our broken places if we'll surrender them to Him: "I will give you back your health and heal you." This just makes me want to snuggle right up close to my Papa, be healed, and let Him take care of the bad guys.

Of course, we have an enemy who wants the poison of resentment to remain in our hearts. As humans with a capacity to remember things, it's easy to let the toxins creep back in. Jesus told us a really good way to take care of this: "Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you." (Luke 6:28) If we start to pray for blessing in the lives of those who hurt us, two really great things are going to happen. There will be no room for unforgiveness, and God will be answering our prayers for them. Let me tell you that there have been some people I've had to pray many blessings on before I no longer felt a twitch at the thought of them! Someone asked me if I didn't think it was wrong to bless a person who was intentionally living in sin? Well, a huge part of God's great blessing in our lives is conviction of sin. What greater blessing is there than to be free of the curse of sin? When we pray for God to bless them, we're leaving it all in His good and perfect hands.

Filling my mind with all these thoughts of God's goodness and His promises made me want to repent of the bitterness and to let go of the pain and the traces of resentment toward this person. If anyone comes to mind that you need to forgive, or forgive again, I pray that you will and that God will bless you with a great awareness of His love for you. He's got it covered. He'll take care of the junk. He just wants you to let it all go so that your hands will be empty of the stuff you've been hanging onto--with your hands free you can receive His gifts. He's longing to overwhelm you with His goodness.


(Please note that this post isn't about having healthy boundaries with unhealthy people, just about the heart issues.)

A Blog About Fog

We live on the gentle slope of a hill that overlooks a valley and across to what the local, prairie-born folks call a mountain. It's just a small valley--maybe two miles across--with a road running along the bottom. The school bus comes along this road and I can see from my kitchen window when the bus is about five minutes away and can send the kids out at just the right time. For most of the last month we've had ice fog every day. It creates a beautiful diamond-encrusted landscape that sparkles when the sun burns away the mist. Many mornings we have been able to see this fog settled into the valley below us and it's impossible for me to see the bus coming until it's almost up the hill and to our house. I keep thinking about that bus driver down there in the fog...

She has no idea when the fog will end. She doesn't know for sure that when she turns the corner a breakthrough is just a half a mile away. It's thick--so thick we can't see the strobe light flashing on top of the bus. And yet, not far away, the sun is shining gloriously.

Fog is like that. Disorienting. Confusing. Discouraging. Endless. Unless we have a reference point outside of the fog.

"Fog" in our lives takes many different forms and lasts for different lengths of time. We're all facing different challenges. We have different prayers for which we earnestly desire an answer. For every one there's a promise in God's Word. That's the reference point to which we must cling. It takes faith to hold onto that promise. Faith is hard for us. We want answers and we want them now. But faith pleases God--not because He wants to see us suffer, but rather because He wants us to be at peace while He is at work.

"What is faith? It is the confident assurance that what we hope for will happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see. God gave His approval to people in days of old because of their faith." Hebrews 11:1-2

Hebrews 11 is a litany of faith in everyday people who faced challenges and believed what God said about that challenge. It's easy to think that they were somehow special and not like us, but a careful reading of their life stories quickly reveals that they were every bit as human as we are and some of them really messed up big time! Yet, they made it to this roll call of Faith Heroes and they were called those who "pleased God". Why? Because they believed the promise even when they couldn't see evidence of it's fulfillment. This isn't the same thing at all as the "power of positive thinking" because the Power rests entirely in the One in whom we believe!

It's easy to think that we don't have enough faith for the challenge we're facing. Jesus said that even faith as small as a mustard seed is enough. Hebrews 11:34 tells us of these heroes that, "Their weakness was turned to strength. They became strong in battle and put whole armies to flight." It's in the process of believing and then receiving that our faith grows stronger.

One of the best ways to strengthen and demonstrate our faith is to worship and praise God while we wait for Him to do what He promised. Praise has been known to tear down prison walls! (Acts: 16:25-26)

I pray that you will be encouraged and reminded of God's promises. His plans for you are good. (Jeremiah 28:11)

"God has given both his promise and his oath. These two things are unchangeable because it is impossible for God to lie. Therefore, we who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us. This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls. It leads us through the curtain into God's inner sanctuary." Hebrews 6:18-19

Rest for Your Soul

I was recently having a conversation with a friend wherein we were talking about those moments in life when our shortcomings become glaringly obvious. Not a particularly comfortable place to find yourself and yet a moment containing a treasure. The comment was made that, "Boy, I have a lot of work to do!" It lingered in my mind and didn't ring entirely true so I had to give it some thought.

The idea of "having a lot of work to do" echos a bit of a philosophy of self-help, of I-can-do-it-if-I-try-hard-enough. However, I wonder if growing in God is like losing that after-Christmas weight? Can it be done if we follow Ten Steps to Becoming a More Mature Christian? Can we, by the strength of our own efforts and striving, overcome sin? Jesus said, "Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?" (Matthew 6:27) This verse is in the context of concern about natural needs, but perhaps it can be applied to our spiritual growth too. Can we, by our own efforts, add an inch to our spiritual stature?

What should our response be when we come face to face with the reality that we have some spiritual growing up to do? We definitely have choices to make. We can blame things on others or humble ourselves in repentance. We can choose to pick up our Bibles rather drown our discomfort in a novel, television show or shopping spree. We can make a commitment to spend more quiet time alone with Him. There are definitely choices we can make that will contribute to our growth. All these steps lead to the same place: an intimate relationship with our Savior. Therein lies our hope! In relationship with Him, light shines into the dark places of our hearts and reveals the root of things. We become acquainted with the sound of His still, small voice (I Kings 19:12) that can stop us from saying or doing things that we shouldn't. It is His Spirit in us that gives us "the desire and the power to do what pleases him." (Philippians 2:13)

Not long ago I was feeling overwhelmed by awareness of spiritual need in my life and knew that others were aware of it too. Shame and accusation were alternately whispering and shouting at me. I was definitely feeling discouraged when I came across a verse in Isaiah 46: "I will be your God throughout your lifetime--until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you." (verse 4) He made me. He cares for me. He will carry me and save me. He will complete the good work that He started in me. (Philippians 1:6) In that moment I found peace. Turns out that I didn't "have a lot of work to do" so much as I just needed to get close to my Papa who has invested everything into completing the work He began in me.

Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens,
and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you.
Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart,
and you will find rest for your souls.
For my yoke is easy to bear,
and the burden I give you is light."
Matthew 11:28-30

He Cares

Last weekend my husband and I attended a conference that is billed as "The Largest Equipping and Renewal Conference in North America". I do, indeed, feel more equipped and definitely feel renewed. Worshiping God with seven thousand voices raised in unison is an experience that feels pretty close to my best imaginings of heaven.

Ironically, I also found myself having a moment of uncertainty about the reality that God can be as intimate as I believe Him to be. In a milling crowd of seven thousand I was overcome by a feeling of insignificance. Not in a healthy you-are-not-the-center-of-the-universe way, but as a whisper of doubt. Seven thousand is only a small fraction of six billion. Is it really, truly possible that God is as involved and concerned about the intimate details of my life as I believe? Is the communion I feel with Him real or just my imagination? Alarm bells were ringing that these doubts were coming from a liar who is always seeking to steal our joy.

I'm comforted by the fact that King David asked these same questions. "When I look at the night sky and see the work of your fingers--the moon and the stars you set in place--what are mere mortals that you should think about them, human beings that you should care for them?" (Psalm 8:3-4) King David also penned some of my favorite answers to this question: "O Lord...you know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I'm far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord. You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head... You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can't even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand!" (Psalm 139)

Lest we think that maybe David was just under some happy delusion when he wrote this, Jesus confirmed it in His own words: "What is the price of two sparrows--one copper coin? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. And the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows." (Matthew 10:29-31) The very hairs of my head are all numbered? One look at my bathroom sink will confirm that this is a number that changes frequently! This tells us then that He's not just checking in with us from time to time, but is with us moment by moment just as David said.

Our small brains cannot comprehend a God so huge that this can be true about six billion people. I'm with David in saying, "Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!" (Psalm 139:6) Yet I know it's true.

I could relate many stories that confirm God is involved in the details of my life and they would be interesting and faith-building, but not as personal as your own stories. If you're struggling right now with wondering if God really cares, I pray that God will send His Holy Spirit to remind you of moments when He has intimately touched your life. I also pray for a fresh revelation of His love. He wants you to know that He cares and part of the job of His Holy Spirit is to comfort you and "bring all things to your remembrance". (John 14:26 KJV) Today may not be the day that you get the answer to some of the struggles you're facing, but being reminded of His care for you will give you the confidence to hang on to your faith that He holds the answer.

Even Better

Last summer my oldest daughter asked for a specific ring for her birthday. We thought a ring was a good idea, but thought the one she was asking for was a bit much for a girl her age. We shopped a bit and found one we thought was just right. On her birthday we woke her in the morning with the sweetest little ribboned mauve box--sure to delight a feminine heart. As wakefulness dawned, her face lit up with joy and she seized the box and opened it. She paused and I knew she was feeling a moment of disappointment as she realized it wasn't the exact ring for which she had asked. Then she smiled and burst out, "I like it!! It's even better than what I thought I wanted!"

"It's even better than what I thought I wanted."

That phrase captured something in my heart. I knew as soon as she said it that I've discovered the very same thing so many times with gifts from my heavenly Papa. As finite humans, we're all acquainted with longing and impatience in waiting. We're probably all equally well-acquainted with attempting to gain what God has promised through our own conniving rather than waiting for His timing. We quickly learn as Abraham did (Genesis 16) that this never works out quite as well as waiting for Him to do things in His time and His way.

Psalm 37:4-5 & 7a says,

"Take delight in the Lord and he will give you your heart's desires. Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you... Be still in the presence of the Lord and wait for him to act."

How do we take delight in the Lord? I'm pretty sure it's impossible to do if you view Him as a stern judge or an angry father. King David, who wrote this Psalm, had a friendship with God. In fact, when you read David's psalms you find out exactly how to delight in Him. "To delight in" means to "take pleasure in". David writes about God's attributes and all the amazing things He has done. It's obvious when he (David) does this that he's delighting in who God is and that it lifts his spirits when he is discouraged. When we focus on God like this it becomes easier to wait for Him to give us the desires of our heart because our minds are filled with His greatness and we are reminded that we don't need to worry about whether or not He has things under control.

I'd like to encourage you to put God to the challenge in this. Do you have a heart's desire whose fulfillment seems distant? Delight yourself in Him...commit it to Him...trust Him...be still...and wait. I put this challenge to my Sunday school class one year and at the end of the year we had some amazing testimonies. In fact, a lot of them sounded like, "It's even better than what I thought I wanted!"

If you don't know where to begin in delighting yourself in the Lord, just borrow some of David's psalms--that's why they're recorded for us. Consistent worship like this will be the seed for your own private psalms of delight as you worship God for all his good gifts and confess (speak of) your confidence in His ability to take care of the things you've committed to Him.

"Don't worry about anything; instead,
pray about everything.
Tell God what you need and
thank Him for all He has done.
If you do this, you will experience God's peace,
which is far more wonderful
than the human mind can understand.
His peace will guard your hearts and minds
as you live in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 4:6&7