Surrounded

For the Lord your God will go ahead of you...

My Father goes before me in this day.

To make a way through the challenges,

and to prepare blessings.

Yes, the God of Israel will protect you from behind.

My Papa's got my back.

He will cover you with his feathers.  
He will shelter you with his wings.

I'm covered, sheltered by His love.

The eternal God is your refuge, 
and his everlasting arms are under you.

He  holds me up.

I'm supported by His love

I will give you a new heart, 
and I will put a new spirit in you...
I will put my Spirit in you.

His Spirit.  Inside me.

Ahead.  Behind.  Beside.  Under.  Within.

I have nothing to fear.

Isaiah 53:12b; Psalm 91:Deuteronomy 33:27, Ezekiel 36:26-27

Do Not Be Afraid

Tangy apple frozen yoghurt tingled my tongue.  She added disgusting gummy worms to hers and told me who was doing and saying what at school.  I got the low down on what's really going on in town.  We moseyed on to the mall and looked at clothes--laughed at the ugly ones, bought some cute ones.  I said one thing, she thought I said another...unspeakable thing...and we laughed.  For a long time, we laughed and laughed.

I almost held my breath for the wonder of it.

When she was a toddler I cried and wondered if she'd hate me when she became a teenager...

She might if not for grace.

Her two-year-old temper sometimes terrified me.  I was afraid it was a sign I was a bad mother.  I was even more afraid that others would think it was a sign I was a bad mother.  This dangerous cocktail actually did make me a horrible mother some days.  I tried to control her.  Control is a love killer.  Especially is in a strong-willed, vibrant heart.

I loved her sparkling spirit as much as I was afraid of her temper!  I loved exploring and learning with her.  Seeing the world through her eyes brought a whole new dimension to mine.

Once in a while I would think this was a kid to whom I should offer choices...so I would offer the pink or green?  Others I respected told me this was such a bad idea.  I was failing to teach her authority.  I was afraid they were right and I was wrong.   Fear.  Lurking everywhere.

I would go back to control.  We'd both end up crying and angry.  Very angry.

I was really afraid that she would hate me some day.  Sure she did hate me on those days.

I knew parenting wasn't a popularity contest, but I knew this wasn't working either!  So we flip-flopped back and forth.  Fun and fear.  Fear and fun.

Along the way I learned some things.  What my heart told me wasn't all wrong.  Control would breed hatred. Choices would bring out strength in a leader-heart.   Choices have consequences which breed empowerment.  Control was easier in the short term.  Consequence is a patient teacher.

My guinea pig child.  She has borne the brunt of my learning curve.  Some days she still makes me feel crazy, but not often.  Many days I suspect I make her feel even crazier--hopefully, not too often.

I try to figure out how to inspire her to clean her room.  She tries to figure out how to disagree respectfully.

Yet we laugh together.  We really love each other.  We like each other too.  I'm filled with wonder and worship.

This is a gift.  A gift made possible by grace.  Amazing grace.

For every time we've fumbled...or outright blown it horribly...there's forgiveness and grace.

There's a big Love at work in our hearts.

I cannot, must not, will not, let fear live in this beautiful place.

I treasure this sensitive and spirited girl.

For all the years yet to come, there's grace.

The Lord who made you and helps you says:

Do not be afraid...

For I will pour out water to quench your thirst...

And I will pour out my Spirit on your descendants,

and my blessing on your children.

They will thrive like watered grass,

like willows on a riverbank.

Isaiah 44:2-4

The Risk Factor

God is not afraid that I might mess things up.

This is the Big Thought that has captivated me this week.  I was chatting with friends about fears that hold us back.  In a flashing moment of revelation I realized one of the biggies for me is that I might mess things up somehow.

There are things I dream of doing, but I hesitate on the brink... I pause at the chicken line...  I falter when I have opportunity to tell the random stranger, or more often, the people I regularly meet, how very much I sense God's love for them, the ways I see His goodness shining in their lives, because I might mess "it" up. Whatever "it" is?

This seems like a very good question.  What exactly is the "it" that I think I might mess up?

Is He not big enough to work through and in spite of my idiosyncrasies and awkwardness?  Is it anything other than His incredible Spirit working in us and through us that accomplishes the glorious?

I think He really just wants our willingness, our "yes".  He can work with that.  Flawless execution is not required...  How is it that I could imagine that my getting "it" right is what's going to make anything effective?

The fact that He's willing to risk using fragile and imperfect human beings provokes a sense of awe...  He's willing to risk it, why aren't I?

Praying for more courage and boldness.  And a better sense of perspective.

I [Paul] was unsure of how to go about this, and felt totally inadequate--
I was scared to death, if you want the truth of it--
and so nothing I said could have impressed you or anyone else.
But the Message came through anyway.
God's Spirit and God's power did it...

It is not by force nor by strength,

but by my Spirit, says the Lord of Heaven's Armies.

1 Corinthians 2:3-4 MSG; Zechariah 4:6 NLT

The Amaryllis

I have an amaryllis that I cut back every year after it blooms.  I put it in my root cellar until the next winter when I get it out and begin to water it.  This year it started to grow before I brought it out.

In the pitch dark.

Without water.

It's like it couldn't help itself--it just had to grow.

Now in these bleak, short winter days it sits on my table--glowing, vibrant and alive.  It is whispering mysteries that my heart grasps with hope, though my brain hardly comprehends.

This flower has grown from a corruptible seed--a seed that will really and truly die someday--and yet its life seems unquenchable.  How much more the life that's been planted inside me that is eternal and will never die?

Sometimes I don't feel very alive...  I'm mostly just trying to keep my head above water and this worries me...

However, what we feel isn't always the truth.

The truth is that His life makes us alive, it cannot be defeated.  Its glory cannot be contained.

The blazing red flower shouts of life and reminds me that it is the One who began the good work in my life who will finish it!  It whispers of rest--that He's got it all in His hands, Author and Finisher.  His Life within me will live and grow even in weary times or times of struggle.

For you have been born again,

but not to a life that will quickly end. 

Your new life will last forever because

it comes from the eternal, living word of God.

1 Peter 1:23

The Seed Will Grow

Last weekend we planted the garden.

I love the soft and perfect smoothness of the freshly tilled soil...the perfectly straight lines...conversations with the kids about seeds and weeds...the way the kids seem to intuitively draw the parallels between the garden and life.

I love the promise every seed holds.

Once planted, all that seed requires is for me to provide the right conditions and it will grow.

Last night we turned on the sprinkler.

In two weeks I'll need to weed.

The seeds will grow. That's what seeds do.

There's been a Seed planted in my heart. Sometimes I get anxious and feel like I need to be doing something to make it grow.

As if we could somehow make a seed grow. The Creator of the seed is the one who makes it grow.

I need to vigilantly pull out the weeds of bitterness, unforgiveness, hopelessness, fear and unbelief...all the ugly stuff. I need to water it with truth. The Creator is the one the gives life to the seed. The Creator is the one who makes it bear fruit.


"Keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith."

"I am certain that God who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished..."

"For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him..."

"He will keep you strong to the end so that you will be free from all blame on the day when our Lord Jesus Christ returns. God will do this, for he is faithful to do what he says..."

"God will make this happen, for he who calls you is faithful..."


As my son would say, "That's a LOT of truth!!!"



Hebrews 12:2; Philippians 3:6, 2:13; 1 Corinthians 1:8-9; 1Thes. 5:24

The End of the Story

We're definitely fans of Narnia around here. Starting with the now-tattered copies of the books I received for my birthday in 1977, to the unabridged Radio Theater version my kids have practically memorized, to debates over the merits of the recently-released movie versions...we know Narnia.

When The Voyage of the Dawn Treader came to theaters and a friend gave us two-for-one coupons we decided to take the kids to see it--an unprecedented treat! However, the decision wasn't made without some hesitation. We knew there would be some fairly intense scenes. My son scoffs at my concern that he could possibly be frightened, but we've sat up many a night with one of the girls after watching a movie that was a bit too much for her. She insisted she would be fine.

Sure enough, she was. Through all the excitement and drama, we sat with wide-eyed enjoyment until the final climatic struggle with the sea serpent. My little one buried her face in my shoulder a few times, but never for long. She would inevitably be drawn back by her longing to see this huge enemy defeated. After the movie, I expressed my surprise that she was able to watch all of that action.

"It was okay, Mom. I was a little bit afraid, but I knew the end of the story," she declared with enthusiasm.

I know the end of the story.

Sometimes I get afraid. And weary. Sometimes it seems like that serpent is beating me down. Or taking out people I care about. It'd be easy to give into discouragement, despair, or even outright panic! But I know the end of the story. I need to remind myself of what is going to happen.

"Don't be afraid! I am the First and the Last. I am the living one.
I died, but look--I am alive forever and ever!
And I hold the keys of death and the grave...
It has come at last--salvation and power and the Kingdom of our God...
The accuser of our brothers and sisters has been thrown down...
they have defeated him...
Look, God's home is now among his people!
He will wipe every tear from their eyes,
and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain.
All these things are gone forever.
Look, I am making everything new!
There will no longer be a curse upon anything.
Come.
Let anyone who is thirsty come.
Come, Lord Jesus!"

Reading these words strengthens me and I'm ready to reenter the fray with a shout of victory!!

Today we hang a new calendar. Twelve pages of the unknown. But I'm not afraid--I know the end of the story!

To Know Him

We've been having problems with our well. The pump in our well, to be exact. In any event, the result is the same: no running water for a few days. Inconvenient but not a disaster. I knew it was only a matter of time until it was fixed. I had no doubt. My kids on the other hand had a few "what ifs". What if Daddy can't fix it? What if he can't buy a new one? What if the new one doesn't work.

All of their "what ifs" had no power to shake my confidence. You see, I know my husband. I know he has the skills and resources to do the job. I wasn't concerned with how he'd do it. I wasn't concerned that he wouldn't take care of it. Not only am I aware of his skills and abilities, I know his character. I knew that because of his love for our family he would be hard at work to meet our needs. It wasn't fun waiting, but my job was patient trust.

I want to have the same kind of confidence in my Heavenly Papa. He has all the power and resources necessary to meet our every need, but we often become distressed and cry out, "What if...?!"

The Bible is full of reasons to believe. In the Old Testament we see His mighty power to save, deliver and provide. The New Testament is full of His compassion, mercy, love, and healing. Every page reveals His character. Our confidence grows as we become acquainted with His character. Inversely, it shrinks when we focus on the magnitude of the problem. A huge faith booster is telling and remembering your stories of what He has done and asking others to tell theirs.

When we keep our thoughts fixed on Him and His greatness our "what ifs" dissolve into peace. We begin to know Him. We can wait in confidence.

I don't know what you're going through today--it may be something I've never experienced, but I do know Him and I know He's worthy of your trust. He loves you beyond your wildest imaginings. What matters to you matters to Him.

Look up into the heavens.
Who created the stars?
He brings them out like an army, one after another,
calling each by its name.
Because of his great power and incomparable strength,
not a single one is missing.
O Jacob, how can you say the Lord does not see your troubles?
O Israel, how can you say God ignores your rights?
Have you never heard?
Have you never understood?
The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth.
He never grows weak or weary.
No one can measure the depths of his understanding.
He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.
Even youths will become weak and tired,
and young men will fall in exhaustion.
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.
(Isaiah 40:26-31)

Extravagant Love

Watch what God does, and then you do it,
like children who learn proper behavior from their parents.
Mostly what God does is love you.
Keep company with Him and learn a life of love.
Observe how Christ loved us.
His love was not cautious but extravagant.
He didn't love in order to get something from us
but to give everything of himself to us.
Love like that.
Ephesians 5:1-2
(The Message)

Ever have one of those days where you get a bit of a wake-up call on how much room you have to grow in the love department? Even with people that you really, truly, genuinely love. I recently had one of those and then just "happened" across this verse. God's really cool like that.

Our lack of perfect love can hurt those that we love most. On this particular day I was teetering on the thin edge of condemnation and despair. How can we grow in love? A perfect love is humanly impossible. It can't be achieved just on the strength of willpower alone--who hasn't discovered that?

God's spirit is never condemning--He gently offers conviction and the promise that He can make something beautiful out of our messes if we'll offer them to Him. This verse doesn't slam us with "smarten up and love like God" but rather gives keys to greater love: watch what God does, keep company with Him, observe how Christ loved...

Again, I am reminded that determination to get it right isn't enough. An intimate relationship with the source of perfect Love is the answer. When my heart is filled with the awareness of His great love for me, I'm safe to love "extravagantly" and without fear of not "getting something for myself".

My heart has heard you say,
"Come and talk with me."
And my heart responds,
"Lord, I am coming."
Psalm 27:8

Facing the Giants

I'm a morning person. In the evening I can be anything from dopey to downright irritable. Ever since I've been a mom I've treasured my quiet time in the morning before the kids get up. My son's a morning person too and, no matter how quiet I am, he often joins me in that early morning quiet. When he does he asks for the same story. Every time. David and Goliath. Lest you think I'm some kind of extraordinarily saintly mother, I will confess to my heart sinking when the pitter-patter his feet invade my quiet, but I've valiantly turned from my choice of reading to I Samuel 17. It's come in handy lately. As I've pointed out valuable lessons from the story to my son, I've been preaching to myself...

Lately, his temper has felt like a giant bigger than Goliath. I face giants of anxiety. We've talked about the size of the giant and the size of the boy and the size of the stone that felled the giant. How was it that a boy with a stone was able to conquer a giant? The answer is in David's declaration: "I come to you in the name of the Lord of Heaven's Armies...Today the Lord will conquer you and I will kill you and cut off your head!" The only size that mattered was the size of the God in whom he trusted. David knew that he had to do his part, but it was going to be the power of God that would destroy His enemy.

David knew God. How did he know Him well enough to dare to defy a giant that had older, more experienced men shaking in their boots? In the years leading up to this day, David had been shepherding his father's sheep. A pretty mundane life, indeed. (Do you feel like your job/life is pretty mundane sometimes?) He had a lot of time on his hands where his mind wasn't too occupied and what did he do with it? He meditated--focused his thoughts--on God. He worshiped and praised God. A reading of the Psalms of David show that he saw God in everything around Him (Psalm 145 is good example). He knew about God's character because he was focused on all that God could and did do. When it came to facing an enemy David knew what God could do. He was more in awe of God than the giant.

Giants have a way of blocking out the light and even drowning out all other sounds. Yet, when David faced Goliath not even the roar of the giant's taunts could drown David's confidence in the Lord of Heaven's Armies! All those years of building intimacy with God prepared him for this day when a giant was defeated and whole nation was liberated!

Giants are inevitable. Intimacy with God is optional. I want to be more like David.

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them and they follow me.
I give them eternal life, and they will never perish.
No one can snatch them away from me,
for my Father has given them to me and
He is more powerful than anyone else.
No one can snatch them from the Father's hand.
John 10:27-29