Perfect Weakness

"My grace is sufficient...my strength is made perfect in weakness."

I feel like I've known these words my whole life.  In fact, I think my mother may have muttered them a lot.  Moms need a lot of grace.

They're beautiful words.  Poetic.

Yesterday, as I laid on a hospital bed for hours, these words ran insistently through my heart, on repeat.   I was hungry for understanding.  Needed that strength.

Weakness.  It's not something I like.  It might even be something I despise in myself.  Okay, it is.

Energy!  Competence!  Efficiency!  Helpful!  Those are my kind of words.

And I am all too aware of their absence in my life.  Recent weakness has been devoid of any loveliness, much less perfection.  It's humbling me.  It's costing others.

Seeking and hungering for more, I found what I needed.  Not in the morphine (though it was really lovely), but in the Greek dictionary on my smart phone.  The deeper layers of meaning in the beautiful words.

These words that were from the heart of God to Paul regarding physical weakness:

My grace...

...the merciful kindness by which God keeps, strengthens, increases faith, knowledge and affection...

...is sufficient for thee.

...to be strong, to be enough, to defend and ward off, as though raising a barrier.

For my strength...

...the inherent power of God which resides in him by virtue of his nature, a miraculous power...

...is made perfect...

...to carry though completely, to add what is yet wanting in order to render a thing full...

...in weakness.

...want of strength of the body (feebleness of health or sickness) 

or of the soul (want of strength and required capacity).

In other words,

"Michelle (add your name), 

I--your Heavenly Papa--

 gladly extend my merciful kindness to strengthen your faith 

and your knowledge of My affection for you.  

All that is in my nature I extend to you 

to carry you through completely.  

All that is in Me I extend to you

 to fill up what is lacking 

in the strength of your body 

and the capacity of your soul."

It really is enough.

It's for you too...whether its health in your body, mind, relationships...wherever the need.  He will add to what is yet wanting in order to render a thing full.

It's not you.  It's Him.  He will carry you through completely and make up all that you lack.

2 Corinthians 12:9

Growing Pains

My legs used to hurt so much I felt I couldn't stand it.  Many times I couldn't settle into sleep at night.  I guess they didn't know then that extra calcium would have relieved the ache... I vividly remember the night--it seemed like it was the middle, the very darkest part of the night--that my mom put me in a tub filled with warm water.  She swished the water around and murmured comforting words, "It's just growing pains...they won't last...this pain is because you're growing taller."  But I would have amputated those legs in a heartbeat.  Gladly.  And been crippled for the rest of my life.


It's very, very hard to recognize discomfort, much less pain, as a good thing.


Growing pains can easily be mistaken as an indication of harm or trauma rather than growth.


So how do I know if what I'm suffering is trauma or growth?  Is the current discomfort a sign of something terribly wrong or gloriously right?


If you've ventured into new territory, decided to make changes, are attempting to leave behind the status quo, seize the dream that's stirred your heart...you will experience growing pains.  In the same way your arms and legs grew too long for your brain when you were a teenager, your heart has outgrown your current equilibrium. Inevitably, venturing into unknown territory will rattle your sense of identity, confidence in your ability might waver.  All because you've been bold and brave enough to reach for more, bigger, deeper, higher than you've ever gone before. 


This discomfort is good.  It's a sign of growth.  It'll make you lean into the Source of strength, wisdom, and grace.


There will be moments when it would be so much easier to back off, back down, back up...anything to relieve the discomfort.  Don't do it.  Hang in there.  Remain focused.  Remember the words He has spoken--both the ones written in the Book and the ones that He's breathed into your spirit.  His words are spirit and life, the calcium that eases the growing pains.

Trust God from the bottom of your heart;

don't try to figure out everything on your own.

Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;

he's the one who will keep you on track.

Don't assume that you know it all.

Run to God!

Run from evil!

Your body will glow with health, 

your very bones will vibrate with life!

Proverbs 3:5-8 MSG

*John 6:63

Good for Your Health

Hope is good for your health.  Weariness, anxiety, and dread weaken us body, soul, and spirit.  "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit dries up the bones" or "saps a person's strength."  Don't we know it!

All this pondering and pursuing of hope this week has been good for me.  Letters from other hope pursuers have inspired me.  I'm not nearly as tired as I "should" be on a Friday night.

I see that the Lord is always with me.

I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.

No wonder my heart is glad,

and my tongue shouts his praises!

My body rests in hope.

~ As I was drafting this post, I got a message from my beautiful sister-in-love Erin that her health situation has gone from worse to...worser?  The words are blurring through my tears.  I pause and wonder if I can post such a thing at such a time...  I can because hope isn't truly hope until it faces something we can't fix or change on our own.

I'm confident that God is right beside her...that He cares...that we will look back and see His hand...I see her surrounded by a loving community, but the wait has been so very long.  Will you pray with me for Erin, that her hope will be renewed, and that the miracle will come soon?

May your heart be glad and body be at rest as you place your confidence in the Lord.

Proverbs 17:22b KJV/NLT;  Acts 2:25-26 NLT

Raise Your Hands If...

Raising or lifting of hands is pretty much universally accepted as a form of worship. It can signify surrender to or exaltation of the one to whom the hands are raised. Remote and uncivilized tribes do it. People of every religion known to man do it. It's a little less common in North America where things that can't be measured scientifically are regarded with a bit of skepticism. It's pretty abstract and mystical to raise your hands to someone or something that can't be seen.

The Bible mentions lifting hands to God seven times. In all but one, it's mentioned as, "I will," or "Let us lift...". Only once is it stated in the imperative: "Lift your hands in holiness, and bless the Lord." (Ps. 134:2) Now, I'm not about to make a doctrine of raising hands: Thou shalt raise thy hands lest thou be considered carnal. No way! I just want to tell you a story.

I like raising my hands to God. In the same way that bursting out laughing feels better than choking it down, raising my hands in worship feels like a release. Somehow having the posture of my body reflect the attitude of my heart is a feeling of alignment. I do try to control this impulse when it might make people uncomfortable. Like, you know, when you're in the bank and you find out you have more money than you thought you did. I've been known to forget a time or two when I'm out for a walk (a really good time for conversations with God), but the men in white jackets haven't come for me yet, so perhaps it just looked like I was waving at someone?

I also love discovering what I call the "mysteries of God". Nature reflects God in a million different ways. From simple things like the way a caterpillar turns into a butterfly to really complex things that I'm not smart enough to explain, we find demonstrations of who God is. The story of His love is reflected in a thousand different facets. Every time I encounter another one of these treasures I get so excited!

So, one day I was listening to the radio and they were doing a talk show about breast cancer (in men and women, just in case any of you guys were about to stop reading). According to the doctor they were interviewing, maintaining healthy lymph glands in your underarm area is a really important part of prevention. It seems that the ones in the underarm area don't drain very well on their own, but there are two things we can do to help. The first mentioned was the action of jumping up and down--thus the rebounder craze. The second?? Lifting your arms. I didn't hear the rest of the program. All I could think was, "Wow, God!! You mean when I lift my hands in praise to You, not only is my spirit lifted, but my body is made healthier too? Body, soul, and spirit, I'm detoxified by the act of praising You? Wow! Wow! Wow!!" And I feel like my Daddy is chuckling because He's made those little surprises for us and He's delighted when we discover them.

Why are thou cast down, O my soul?
And why art thou disquieted within me?
Hope in God: for I shall yet praise him,
Who is the health of my countenance, and my God.
(Psalm 43:5 KJV)